Five players were present:
- Garrus Ironside,
Male Dwarf Cleric - Mortos,
Male Tiefling Druid - Dimva Murkahm,
Male Dwarf Rogue - Ffion Tanwen,
Female Dragonborn Cleric - Lupin Damakos,
Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
With another day left before they begin their mission to Insectavania (see Enemy of My Enemy), The Heroes decide to stock up on various necessities that each believe will help them accomplish their goals.
Mortos visits the Mage’s Mart and asks if they stock any items that can dispel magic. The keeper shows him a metal orb containing the eye of a Beholder. If aimed at a target, it dispels magic for three turns. It can be used three times. Though it is somewhat expensive, the Delighted Demon snatches it up in the blink of an eye.
Dimva decides that he needs to replenish his daggers. Visiting the Weaponsmith, he purchases five daggers. The Devious Dwarf returns to his quarters and begins to sharpen his blades, as he plots how to turn a profit from this mission.
Garrus also visits the Mage’s Mart and enquires if they have a spell of Passwall he can inscribe in his spell book. They do indeed, however the Disappointed Dwarf doesn’t have enough gold to purchase it. The owner offers him a layaway plan since he is a man of the cloth. 900 gp now, 1,100 gp later, to which the Cunning Cleric cheerfully consents.
The hyper-excited Zanna begins to chatter incessantly, earning the befuddled ire of The Heroes she hasn’t met before. A despondent Dimva compares her to “the kid you’re forced to hang out with because your parents are friends.” Inquiring how they are expected to travel to Insectavania, The Heroes are informed to head to the docks. Upon arrival, The Heroes see a ship manned by their old friend, Captain Jack (see Statues of Limitations or any other adventures at sea).
Zanna is curious about Ffion’s ancient wooden staff. Ffion tells her that its name is Deri. The other Heroes are amused it has a name. Ffion informs them that it has been passed down through her family for generations. And that it was created from the sacred oak tree in her village. Proclaiming that he names his possessions too, Mortos shows off Blinky, the eye of the beholder. Ffion asks if there is beauty in it (Best joke of the night!).
Ffion casts Good Omen upon The Heroes for a +5 power bonus to each player’s roll until the end of her next turn. However, players cannot score critical hits while under this spell. The Inky Enemy reaches for Dimva and Zanna, but they manage to evade the Evil Appendages.
Lupin rolls to attack and rolls a natural 20. Unfortunately, the critical hit is nullified by Ffion’s spell (Doh!).
The many Armed Adversary manages to grasp Lupin and Willow in one tentacle and Ffion and Zanna in another. The grappled Heroes struggle to break free while Dimva and Garrus attack from afar. Captain Jack is unable to join the fray, as all of his maritime skills are needed to prevent the ship from capsizing.
Rummaging through her sack, Lupin produces two potions of flight. Tossing one to Ffion, the Feisty Females fly for freedom from their Fierce Foe. As the Terrible Terror turns toward Mortos, the Daring Druid leaps out of the water, transmogrifies into a fly, and rejoins the others on deck. Confused, the Mad Mollusk meanders back to the muddy, murky depths.
As they talk, Garrus notices that he resembles someone he knows, but can’t put a finger on it. He asks if he’s been a sailor for long. The Smiling Sea Man replies he has been a pirate since the day he was born. The Bold Buccaneer boasts that he learned everything from his mother: Captain Jacquelin. The name rings a bell, but Garrus can’t recall from where. The Proud Pirate proclaims that she was the legendary pirate of the Seven Coasts (see Love and Faith). As the shoreline comes into view, huge hive-like structures pierce the skyline. The Heroes have arrived at Insectavania.
Barring their way with swords, the Stone Sisters demand that they must solve a series of puns about Valentine’s Day to enter.
HORRIBLE VALENTINE DAY PUNS
(Pet names for your loved one)
1: Sugary Aorta.*
2: Bee’s Excrement and a Long Eared Rodent.**
3: Hoofed Animal with Antlers.***
4: Orange Squash.****
5: Small Baked Treat.*****
6: Ghostly Sound.******
7: Newborn.*******
8: Morning Light.********
9: Winged Spirit.*********
10: Girl’s Toy.**********
Across from the bar, a rocking band is playing. The Heroes realize that the lead singer is the world renown bard, Crystal. Accompanying her are: a male Dwarf on drums, a male Half-Elf on lute, and a female Angel on trumpet. Looking over the mingling guest, they see a host of dignitaries they have encountered before. Some friends, some foes. All gathered together under diplomatic immunity in this neutral sovereign nation.
Complimenting each other’s looks and fashion, the gushing girlfriends make last minuet plans for the wedding as Zanna shows her the large bottle of glitter she brought.
The relieved Heroes have a drink at the bar while Lupin mingles. She runs into Helen Blazes, the representative from Hell (see Deadly Persuasion) who addresses her as Lupin.
Lupin wants to learn more about her family, but Helen insists that she introduce her to “that handsome devil.” Lupin looks in disbelief as she realizes that she is talking about Mortos.
Mortos asks if “she want to see his Blinky?” He says “it shoots magic and is a one eyed god.” A disgusted Helen turns and leaves with Lupin, lamenting “Why are all the good looking ones so dumb?”
The Courteous Cleric enquires how he knows the bride or groom. The Grouchy Gorilla informs him that most of the guest are part of the Nature Coalition. The Polite Priest offers to fetch him a drink. The Angry Ape asks for a banana daiquiri.
Running back to the bar, Garrus places the order. Babs grinds up a dozen bananas and mixes the drink in a huge stein. Returning with the drink, the Powerful Primate seems pleasantly pleased with the offering.
Ffion relates what Madam Zola said about needing her heart to cure her people of the disease that plagues them (see Fratricide & Fortunes). And that it needs to be given freely. The Green Goddess replies that she is the guardian of the living plants and that she cannot sacrifice her life while there are plants in need of her protection. The Lady Lizard understands and tells her that Madam Zola said they would meet when Coni is young, and again when she is old. The Powerful Plant prays that Ffion’s family is healthy before then.
The Tiger man, Father, greets him and has to remind him they met before in Animalnation (see Familia Paternal). The Dark Elf introduces herself as Felyndra, a representative of the Drow (see Wedding Crashers). Dimva says that he is representing the Dwarven Leader of the Flame Flock: Lord Garrus. The Fantastic Feline is floored and wonders why Garrus didn’t tell him who he was when last they met. The Devious Dwarf says he is very modest and would never brag about his title. When they insist on meeting him, the Rambunctious Rogue says they must kiss his ring or, if he is not wearing his ring, kiss his little toe.
Dimva tells them to join them in three fortnights and to bring monetary tributes to the Flame Flock. With knowing nods the couple genuflect and proceed back to the crowd. Garrus asks if Dimva is mad. Dimva says they have six weeks to plan a Flaming Flock Festival.
The Living Larva proclaims that there are many who do not approve of this union and they must be prepared if they strike. He instructs Mortos to mingle and he will call for him when the time is right.
Going up to Vanessa Vasquez of the Crimson Empire (see Deadly Persuasion), he tries to get her take on the wedding. Garrus states that Sapphire and the Larva Mage seem like a good match. Vanessa sighs that the poor girl doesn’t stand a chance. The Vixen Vampire proclaims that all men mistreat women and only use them in a bid to gain power. Garrus protest, claiming that he respects his mother. Suddenly turning cold and hostile, the Sexy Succubus proclaims that all men wish to dominate women and leaves in a huff.
Garrus asks why she is here. She claims she has a side business catering and that she makes the best pulled pork in the kingdom. Producing a sandwich the size of Garrus’ head, the Pious Priest tucks into the pulled pork with gusto. Particles flying everywhere, Father and Felyndra comment that he even eats like a king.
As Lupin approaches the stairs, she puts on the goggles she purchased that lets her see invisible threads. The stairs are coated in a crisscross pattern of invisible spider webs. There is enough space to limbo through, but it will be very tricky. Lupin warns the others that they should all leave but Dimva doesn’t trust her. She tries to usher them out so she can sneak back in and complete her heist (see Enemy of My Enemy), but Dimva holds on to her hand and insists they leave together.
To be continued? ? ?
Thoughts on this Session: It is becoming increasingly more common for the role playing aspect of our sessions to equal, or surpass, the amount of time we spend fighting. I am very pleased with this turn our sessions have taken. I think it shows everyone truly enjoys playing their character as well as putting thought into researching and preparing for future events. Another aspect is that it allows a different type of exploration: Oral histories and opinions of NPCs that help expand and expound upon both immediate situations and historic backstories.
Lupin seems to be expecting some heavy trouble obtaining the Ambrosia. The Molotov Cocktails on top of the equipment she purchased last session should, hopefully, handle any problems. Her encounter with Helen Blazes revealed some insight to her family. Her efforts to trick her companions away from the Ambrosia heist was quite amusing. Garrus also prepared for future adventure by purchasing a Passwall spell. Fortunately, the Mage’s Mart has a layaway plan. His chats with Captain Jack, the Gorilla King, and Vanessa also helped reveal some past histories. His confusion from Dimva’s charade was very humorous. Dimva’s reaction and subsequent distain for Zanna was very funny. Perhaps he is jealous she is taking the most annoying player title from him. His chicanery with Garrus and the nobles was amusing and confusing. Let’s hope there are no consequences for this. Seeing through Lupin’s plan to head down the stairway only made him more determined to accompany her. Ffion showed her caring side by shielding Zanna from Dimva’s ire, as well as the real threat of the giant Octopus. Trying to decipher Madam Zola’s words, her encounter with Coni Ferous showed that even though she desperately wants to heal her people, she would not resort to violence to obtain a possible cure. Her reluctance to travel down the trap infested stairway also showed that she knows her physical limitations. Mortos exhibited a new speech pattern this session. Referring to himself in the third person, he now speaks in a broken-English reminiscent of Tarzan. His strange speech became a deterrent when he met the intrigued Helen Blazes. Perhaps this Druid has been in the woods by himself for too long. Also one to prepare, his use of the Beholder’s Anti-Magic eye should be interesting. He cleverly tried to gain information from the Larva Mage by transmogrifying into a giant Larva, but by turning into a tiny ant, he got his first taste of larceny which incited him to go with Lupin. Bravo to all!!!
Father—Male Rakshasa. First introduced in Familia Paternal. This powerful Mage and self-proclaimed God created the kingdom of Animalnation. A sanctuary for any and all beast-men.
Felyndra—Female Drow Elf. This Sexy sorceress debuted in Wedding Crashers. A crush of the Late Lobis (see Sleeping with the Enemy), she serves the Drow as an emissary to the surface world.
Gorilla King—Male, Giant Gorilla. This Powerful Primate and his kingdom,The Isle of the Apes, were introduced way back in Statues of Limitations. The Heroes risked his ire again by trying to steal the sacred monkey paws in Return to the Isle of the Apes.
Helen Blazes—Female Tiefling. Introduced in Deadly Persuasion, this ambassador from Hell seems to have taken a liking to Lupin. Revealing that there is descent against the forces of Hell allying with the Crimson Empire, this Demoness has many more secrets to share.
Samson—Male Stone Elemental. Introduced in Tales of the Crimson Empire: The Birth of the Elemental Empire. This noble-hearted centurion learned about heroics and humanity from the many books and scrolls of a forgotten library read to him by his Halfling companion. He returned to free his kingdom and aid The Heroes in Return to the Elemental Empire.
Vanessa Vasquez—Female Vampire. The Heroes first encountered this 300 year old Vampire in Deadly Persuasion. However, she was first briefly introduced in Tales of the Crimson Empire: Love and Faith. Loyal to the cause of the Crimson Empire, this Femme Fatal has a somewhat tragic backstory, as indicated by the frosty rebuke she gave Garrus.
* Sugary Aorta: Sugary=sweet; aorta=heart—Sweetheart.
** Bee’s Excrement and a Long Eared Rodent: Bee’s excrement=honey; long-eared rodent=bunny—Honey Bunny.
*** Hoofed Animal with Antlers: Dear (Deer).
**** Orange Squash: Pumpkin.
***** Small Baked Treat: Cupcake/Muffin.
****** Ghostly Sound: Boo.
******* Newborn: Baby.
******** Morning Light: Sunshine.
********* Winged Spirit: Angel.
********** Girl’s Toy: Doll.
Next: Chapter 51 - Honey Trap
Previous: Chapter 49 - Enemy of my Enemy