- Amidaeus, Female Elf Rogue
- Lupin Damakos, Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
- Dimva Murkahm, Male Dwarf Rogue
- Garrus Ironside, Male Dwarf Cleric
Nearing the Isle, the skies grow dark and the torrential winds and choppy waves begin to rock the small schooner. After consuming gallons of Ale and many bottles of Rum the night before, a horribly hungover Garrus tries to steady himself but ends up running to the rail to puke over the side. As Dimva mocks his elder, he too suddenly has an urge to regurgitate, but fails to make it to the side of the ship (the sheer volume of barf on deck induces a chain reaction of vomiting from everyone).
As the ship rides the cresting waves, Conrad Frost instructs everyone to meet at the Temple if they’re split up. Suddenly, the ship capsizes, and all aboard find themselves struggling to survive in the relentless waves.
Surrounding The Heroes, the Stony Sentinels demand to know what they are doing here. Stating that they were shipwrecked, they claim they will leave if the Elementals provide them with transportation. The question of gender, and how to tell them apart, among the rock people comes up, and Dimva convinces the rock people that he is a woman (Dimva is then referred to in female pronouns throughout the night).
Telling Wanda to fly and search for the others, Lupin uses her teleportation abilities to extract herself from the Gravelly Guards and vanishes into the jungle. The Monolithic Monsters capture the remaining Heroes and take them to the temple.
Odrom feels an unexplainable attraction to Dimva° and begins to flirt with him/her. Asking if the diary contains all of his/her “dirty little secrets”, a coquettish Dimva assures him that it does. Ordering them locked up in the guest quarters, Odrom and his council retire to their chambers to read the diary (the diary is actually a journal describing monsters that Dimva picked up in: Dungeons and Darkness).
Using their stealth abilities, Dimva and Amidaeus begin to quietly sneak out of the room. Garrus rolls a one and tumbles down the stairs, his heavy armor clanging and crashing in an echoing cacophony. Lupin reunites with them at the bottom of the stairs and tells them to wait outside while she reexamines the statue.
Just as Raven is about to place the twin gems in the eye sockets, an irresistible force pulls them from her hands and sends them hurling across the room.
Standing on a balcony, Odrom and his council overlook The Heroes. Holding a gem in each hand, Odrom thanks them for proving him with the twin Hearts of Darkness. Casting a spell, the gems begin to glow and pulse. He laughs as he merges with the gems into a giant being composed of red crystals.
Turning, she sees Raven has the same idea, and reaches Odrom a half second before Lupin. Raven wishes to enter Limbo, causing a ripple effect that envelopes The Heroes and transports them out of this plane of existence.
Awakening in an all red realm of nothingness, The Heroes are disoriented. Every direction seems to stretch into an eerily red, glowing infinity. Garrus shouts out, but only a never-ending echo replies (It was actually Dimva impersonating an echo). A tiny shadow in the distant horizon approaches, faster and faster. Ever so slowly, it begins to take the shape of a floating throne. Closer and closer it comes, revealing a beautiful pale woman sitting on the throne. With a contemptuous smile, the Bleached Beauty introduces herself as: Lady Die. The Heroes recognize her as Death.
The Deadly Damsel decides to make a deal with the Heroes. She promises to release Epiphany if they bring her one man. The sorcerer known as: Egnarts. The Frost Family agrees, but the rest seem to have their own agendas in exchange for their former compatriot.
Amidaeus negotiates the ability to kill someone instantly. Garrus asks for a legendary dwarven weapon that can raze cities, so he can get back into the good graces of his kingdom. Lupin decides to wait before she asks for her favor. Dimva claims that he is content.
Seeing this as an opportunity to gather information, Garrus begins to ask about Lord Chronos. The Pious Priest questions Lady Die on whether Chronos is truly a vampire and what his endgame is. The Femme Fatale replies that he is indeed a Vampire, but she is unsure what his ultimate goal is. His current strategy doesn’t seem very sustainable for beings that require mortal blood and flesh to live. Dimva declares her useless. Asking who Chronos is, the Duchess of Darkness relates that he was once a powerful mortal mage seeking knowledge. Knowledge that would take more than a lifetime to learn. Apparently, he thought Vampirism was the way to solve that. Asking if it doesn’t upset her that the undead are cheating her. She laughs and proclaims that all things die eventually, some just take longer than others.
To ensure that they can capture Egnarts, the Empress of Euthanasia casts a spell that strengthens each of them (leveled up to 17). Amidaeus asks if she can provide anything that they can restrain him with. Lady Die produces a magic, unbreakable lasso that makes the wearer tell the truth. Lupin asks if she can return them somewhere other than the temple. The Pale Princess says no; but they may be surprised at what they find when they return. Dimva declares her lame. Lady Die is amused by his/her arrogance and gives him/her a ring that can summon her.
The other Elementals rejoice and proclaim Sampson their once and future king. Sampson declares that he knows Odrom murdered Thundarr; and that Odrom kept Sampson prisoner, until Tina freed him just now. He proclaims The Heroes innocent of wrongdoing and tells them that it was always his intent to join the United.
As The Heroes leave, Amidaeus snatches a few artifacts worth 200 gold from the temple. She also grabs the shattered red gemmed hand of Odrom, as the elementals sweep his remains into a magically sealed container. One of the items she picked up was a scroll of puns about Valentine’s Day/Sweets.
HORRIBLE VALENTINE’S DAY/SWEETS PUNS (sweet tasting food and drinks)
1: Optic Milk.*
2: Young Girl Scout.**
3: Vibrating Udder.***
4: Gibson’s Auto.****
5: Carbonated Drink’s Dad.*****
6: Sweet Walking Stick.******
7: Hellish Pastry.*******
8: Heavenly Pastry.********
9: Chill Swamp.*********
10: Crazy Batter.**********
11: 3.14.***********
12: Sticky Hairstyler.************
Solving the horrible puns, The Heroes set sail back to the United.
To be continued? ? ?
Thoughts on this Session: Another session where The Heroes managed to avoid much fighting!!! Lupin was great, teetering on the brink of trust and mistrust toward her newfound family. Also serving as an ersatz narrator to the rest of party, as she is the longest lasting player left from the beginning. Garrus used both his brains and brawn as he continues to gather information on Lord Chronos and the Crimson Empire, as well as use his powerful pious powers in battle. Amidaeus has earned the title of Rogue with the stickiest fingers. Picking up anything that isn’t nailed down, her sardonic wit is as sharp as her blades. Dimva’s coquettish bout as a female was quite hilarious. His sarcastic impudence toward Death herself was amazing. Bravo to all!!!
Side Note: Who is Odrom? One of the earliest foes The Heroes ever fought. Before this campaign started, I ran a few sessions waiting for our original DM, Mike, to come back. In Mini-Adventure 3 (see Mini-Adventures 1—4) The Heroes encountered Mordo (Odrom backwards) the Sorcerer trying to revive a petrified Beholder. Things went wrong when he succeeded and was promptly turned to stone when the creature awoke. Through dark magics, Mordo regained mobility and set himself up to take over the Elemental Empire. That is, until The Heroes intervened.
° These events were inspired by Drama cards. I am so glad players are, finally, actively using them. They get at least one per pun, usually two a session, so they each have quite a few.
* Optic Milk: – Optic = eyes; milk = cream—Eyes Cream (Ice Cream).
** Young Girl Scout: –Brownie.
*** Vibrating Udder: – Vibrating = shake; udder = milk—Milk Shake.
**** Gibson’s Auto: – Gibson = Mel; auto = car—Carmel.
***** Carbonated Drink’s Dad: – Carbonated drink = soda; dad = pop—Soda Pop.
****** Sweet Walking Stick: – Sweet = candy; walking stick = cane—Candy Cane (or Sugar Cane).
******* Hellish Pastry: – Hellish = Devil; pastry = cake—Devil’s food Cake.
********Heavenly Pastry: —Heavenly = angel; pastry = cake—Angel’s Food Cake.
*********Chill Swamp: —Chill = mellow; swamp = marsh—Marshmallow.
**********Crazy Batter: —Crazy = nuts; batter = dough—Doughnuts.
***********3.14: – 3.14 = Pi—Pie.
************Sticky Hairstyler: – Sticky = honey; hairstyler = comb—Honey Comb.
Next: Chapter 39 - Prime-Evil Forest
Previous: Chapter 37 - Family Reunion