- Ffion Tanwen,
Female Dragonborn Cleric - Garrus Ironside,
Male Dwarf Cleric - Mortos,
Male Tiefling Druid - Erith Elmaris,
Male Elf Druid - Amidaeus,
Female Elf Rogue - Lupin Damakos,
Female Tiefling Rogue +
Willow, Cat Animal Companion
Garrus demands to know why he is here and what he wants. Garrud informs him that he wants what he has always desired: for Garrus to join him in undeath. He claims that undeath is the glorious afterlife that Kord promises his followers. That undeath is the Valhalla and the endless battles Kord promises to all faithful to him. Garrus decries that he is not his brother and proclaims Garrud a monster. At that moment, Ffion, Amidaeus, General Valentine and her Guard come running up the road. Stunned to see a massive Dracolich, Amidaeus hangs back while the rest of The Heroes rush in closer.
The second set of eyes belongs to a Testy Tiefling: the druid Mortos. Upset that these intruders are disturbing the tranquility of the forest, the angered Tiefling transmogrifies into a bat and perches in the shrubs next to an unsuspecting Erith.
As Garrud braces for battle, Lupin summons all her courage (she is deathly afraid of Liches) and performs an upward triple somersault backflip toward the Deadly Death Knight. Knocking Garrud to the ground, Lupin finds herself perched atop of the Dracolich’s neck. Retrieving her rope from her bag of holding, the Daring Damsel lassoes the mammoth monster’s mandibles shut.
Garrus charges Garrud and engages him in battle; hammers and shields suddenly striking in savage syncopation. Ffion, Valentine, and the Guard are still too far away to engage the enemy directly. Firing spells from afar, they continue their onward charge. Amidaeus decides to fight from afar, really afar, and launches a volley of arrows toward the enemies. Erith casts a spell from the shrubs, but it fails to hit. The Guard notices where the flash came from and veers off to investigate.
As Ffion and Valentine join Garrus in surrounding Garrud, he unleashes a burst of Unholy Flames, inflecting much damage on The Heroes. The Dracolich flies back, lands next to the Guard and attempts to bite him. However, the rugged restraining rope ‘round his mighty muzzled mouth prevents his jagged jaws from jabbing the Juard.
The Guard and Lupin flank for each other and slash away at the bound Dracolich. As the Sinister Skeleton snaps its bindings and prepares to attack, Mortos casts a Baleful Polymorph and transmogrifies the Dracolich into a pig. With the Dracolich diminished, Lupin unceremoniously topples to the ground. Noticing the Monster’s Miniaturization, Erith bravely notches an arrow and slays the Perplexed Pig.
The Pious Priest shouts for someone to pin Garrud down. Lupin knocks the Knight to the ground and holds his shoulders down. The Guard also helps secure the Midget Monster by holding his arm and chest. Garrus leaps upon Garrud and slips the Amulet he received from the priest of Kord (see Perfidia) over the Struggling Skeleton’s head. The Religious Relic causes Garrud’s body to quiver and shake and soon, the life drains from his brittle bones as he crumbles to dust cursing his brother.
Garrus retrieves the Amulet as well as Garrud’s hammer and shield with their family crest. Ffion offers her condolences for the loss of his brother. A somber Garrus replies: “That was not my brother.” Lupin roots through the remains and finds a potion of acid. Amidaeus also loots the remains and discovers some gold and a scroll with a series of puns about Christmas.
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS PUNS
1: Between Past and Future.*
2: Frosty Formal Dance.**
3: Quiet Man in Armor.***
4: More Than Two Male Rulers.****
5: Pious Man in Armor.*****
6: Twelve-O-Clock Large Gathering.******
7: Rocket Foot Digits.*******
8: Red-Headed Baker.********
9: Fowl in a Fruit Tree.*********
10: Tied up Rope or Your Sibling’s Daughter.**********
The Heroes surround him and demand to know who he is. Lupin is somewhat excited to see another Tiefling. Amidaeus mockingly starts to sing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?”. Which grosses out Lupin. The Twenty-Something Tiefling states that Mortos is old enough to be her father. Garrus suggest they have a Tie-“Fling”.
Mortos discloses that he heard a ruckus and came over to see who was disturbing the peace of the woods. Observing the battle, he decided to help end the fray for the sake of the forest. After introductions and thanks are given, General Valentine tells him that the United could use a man of his talents. He decides to join for now as The Heroes continue their trek. Even though there are now two druids in the group, Ffion still ends up leading them through the woods.
The Geriatric Gentleman replies that his name is Captain James Valentine. The others are somewhat taken aback. Asked if he is related to General Valentine, the Senior Swordsman proclaims that he is her father. James informs them her name is Christine. Laughing, he calls her a headstrong girl, but one who always gets the job done. When asked how they came to be with the United, he tells them: “I was once a rogue, an adventurer like yourselves a long time ago. I met my wife on an adventure. Now most men call their wives an angel, but mine really was an Angel named Angela. Christine is half Angel, an Aasimar.”
James concludes: “Christine went on to climb the ranks of the United until she reached General. She called me out of retirement to train swordsmanship at the Southern United. I joined her on this journey to watch her back.” Mortos asks if he ever saw Angela again. The Rotund Rogue replies that he has not, and he wouldn’t blame her if she left him for a younger man.
Lupin asks Amidaeus if she is feeling alright; that she doesn’t seem like herself lately. Amidaeus explains that she has been much more cautious in battle since Malachi pinned her by the throat and threatened her (see Drunkards & Dragons). Since then, she’s been skittish about running headlong into any conflicts and has been fighting from range as much as possible.
Amidaeus then begins to question if they should be receiving any compensation, or a regular paycheck, from the United for all the risks they take. Lupin tells her to let her know whenever she goes to talk to them about it, since she would like to be paid as well.
Amidaeus is somewhat puzzled and unconcerned, as everyone she loved the most is already dead.
Lupin wonders what challenges she will face in Hell to save her Mother; and how she can defeat her twin sister (see Deadly Persuasion).
Madame Zola enquires if any other members of their party would like their fortunes told. Amidaeus and Lupin go to wake the others. When they wake up Ffion, the Lady Lizard incredulously questions the fact that they let a stranger into camp without alerting the others. The Cold-blooded Cleric becomes even more alarmed when they don’t even know her name (This is the point when we had to retcon in the introduction. Since that should have been the first thing they asked.). The Reptilian Reverend just about loses it when they inform her that Zola is a fortune teller. Rolling her eyes, the Righteous Reptile rambles over to interrogate this intruder herself.
Zola informs her that “You will need the Heart from a living tree, but it must be given freely.” Ffion asks if she means a Treant. Zola say “Yes. You will meet this Treant in the present and in the future.” Ffion thanks her for giving her faith that she may find a cure. Zola assures her she will. Ffion asks what she owes her. Zola tells her whatever she thinks it was worth. Ffion gives her 50 gp.
Erith is somewhat shocked and replies that his father tried to kick him out of their house, but he didn’t want to leave. Zola asks “For that, you killed him?” Erith says his father was trying to throw him and his brother out. He suddenly breaks off. He can’t continue with the painful memories. Zola assures him it is all right and he will face those memories when he needs to.
Zola explains “I am a seeker of truth. I travel the world searching for truth in all its beauty and ugliness. I have seen the best and worst humanity has to offer. And I know from experience, that there is more good than evil in the world.”
After more roundabout questioning, he asks if she is happy doing this? Zola asks if he is from HR. Mortos stresses that good mental health is vital to job performance. He then asks her how she will die. Zola states that “I am quite old and not getting younger. Soon I will die like all mortals.” Mortos dismisses her answers as vague double talk.
When Garrus asks who will win the battle, Zola replies “The battlefield is covered with the bodies of many races as well as the undead. It is impossible to say who won, or if a battle with so much deaths on both sides can even have a victor.” When asked to describe the artifact, Zola says “It is a rounded stone, the size of a marble.” Recognizing the artifact he returned to his clan (see Life and Death) Garrus’ face goes white. He gives her 10 gp and walks away.
A groggy General and Captain Valentine emerge from their tent and ask if they missed anything. The Heroes assure them that it was an uneventful night. Breaking camp, they then continue the quest to catch up to Rose and Cornelius.
To be continued? ? ?
Lupin showed great bravery, facing her greatest fear, a (Draco)Lich. Although the fact that she has faced so many in the past and persevered may have something to do with it. Her bonding chat with Amidaeus showed her caring side. And her question for Madame Zola revealed that she is willing to go back to Hell and rescue her Mother and twin sister. Garrus was determined to end the threat of his undead brother. Even though he distanced himself from Garrud’s skeletal form, he knew it was his sacred duty to put his brother’s remains to rest. His skepticism toward Madame Zola turned to shock when he realized he may have doomed his entire clan by returning the artifact. Erith was reluctant to battle against a foe who had almost defeated them last time. Interestingly enough, Garrud was defeated by the exact spell that Erith used to defeat him last time. The fact that he was willing to take credit for it again was quite humorous. His reaction to his father’s murder was quite personal and unexpected. Amidaeus continued to show an abundance of caution by fighting from the rear. Her fireside chat with Lupin revealed just how shaken her encounter with her ex, Malachi, has affected her. Although, it hasn’t effected her taste for gold. She seemed to dismiss Madame Zola’s fortune because all her loved ones are gone, or are they? In battle, Ffion shows she is willing to sacrifice attacks for the health of her new found family. Her admonishing Lupin and Amidaeus in an Irish lilt for allowing a stranger into their camp was the funniest moment of the night for me. She may be picking up the mantle of “Mom.” Her faith and generosity shone through after her encounter with Madame Zola. Mortos seems to be a pragmatic cynic. Evaluating the situation before he entered the fray (even though they were fighting UNDEAD). Putting the threat of the Dracolich to rest with one spell was awesome. His virtual interrogation of Captain Valentine, and later Madame Zola, was hilarious. Like the best profilers, his circular repetitive questions asked in different ways forced Valentine and Zola (aka: me) to keep their stories straight. Bravo to all!!!
* Between Past and Future: —Present.
** Frosty Formal Dance: Frosty=snow; formal dance=ball—Snow Ball.
*** Quiet Man in Armor: Quiet=silent; man in armor=knight—Silent Night.
**** More Than Two Male Rulers: More than two=three; male rulers=Kings—Three Kings.
***** Pious Man in Armor: Pious=holy; man in armor=knight—Holy night.
****** Twelve-O-Clock Large Gathering: Twelve-o-clock=midnight; large gathering=mass—Midnight Mass.
******* Rocket Foot Digits: Rocket=missile; foot digits=toes—Mistletoe.
******** Red-Headed Baker: Red-head=ginger; baker=breadman—Gingerbread Man.
********* Fowl in a Fruit Tree: Fowl=partridge; fruit tree=pear tree—Partridge in a Pear Tree.
********** Tied up Rope or Your Sibling’s Daughter: Tied up rope=knotty; sibling’s daughter=niece—Knotty or Niece (Naughty or Nice).
Next: Chapter 49 - Enemy of my Enemy
Previous: Chapter 47 - Drunkards and Dragons