- Lupin Damakos, Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
- Garrus Ironside, Male Dwarf Cleric
- Amidaeus, Female Elf Rogue
Suddenly, the twin terrors each open a cyclopean eye and reveal a gapping mouth full of foul fangs: Ropers. Terrible tentacles lash out and capture Lupin, Amidaeus, and Kong (played by Darby). Amidaeus tries to negotiate with the Stoney Sentinels. The Alluring Elf is a linguist fluent in a multitude of languages, except for the one the Ropers speak: Primordial.
Taking a short rest to recoup, The Heroes find themselves outside of the Professor’s laboratory. The doorway is barred with mystic wards that can only be accessed by solving a series of puns about Mother’s Day (answers will have some sort of maternal word/adjective).
HORRIBLE MOTHER’S DAY PUNS
1: Material Girl.*
2: ABBA Song.**
3: Saintly Nun.***
4: Her Cupboard was Bare.****
5: Her Bed was too Soft.*****
6: Planet We Live on.******
7: Controls the Weather, Flora, Fauna.*******
8: Nun Who Thinks She’s Better.********
9: UFO.*********
10: Start of an Insult.**********
11: Wing of a Hospital.***********
12: Gold Rush.************
Solving the horrible puns, The Heroes enter a brightly-lit laboratory. Three of the highly-acidic Gelatinous Cubes they encountered previously (see Chapter 31: The K’ave of K’nowledge) are sitting near the far wall. Two huge Iron Golems stand guard in either corner. A large gray ball rolls toward The Heroes. The pliable orb forms into the shape of a Clay Golem and demands to know why they are here.
Meanwhile, The Heroes are suspicious about the large rectangular obfuscated object behind the Cubes. Lupin wants to use stealth to investigate, but the bright lights make it impossible to avoid detection. Amidaeus visually inspects the area. She notices wires connecting the Cubes to the bright orbs and also to the shadowy shape behind the Cubes. With everyone unsure of how to handle the situation, Wanda turns invisible. She returns and informs The Heroes that the object is a large metallic rectangle with many eyes; it is like nothing she has ever seen before. When Garrus hears this, he asks Kong to describe Eyebeam to them again.
Garrus is certain that the object is Eyebeam. He informs Kong that he believes that Eyebeam is hidden behind the Cubes, but there is no way they will be able to rescue it. There are too many powerful adversaries guarding it. Kong goes crazy and accuses The Heroes of being cowards. He demands they rescue Eyebeam or die trying. Garrus again points out that not only are they outnumbered, but their opponents are much stronger then The Heroes combined. A fuming Kong rejects this assessment and readies himself for attack, with or without The Heroes.
The Professor levitates to face(?) Lupin. He asks if she has forgotten that his mind-blasts are capable of incapacitating an Aboleth (see Chapter 26: Beauty and the Beholder 2). Lupin had indeed forgotten, but still stands her ground.
The Heroes are stunned. Kong is in awe. His God has finally awoken after so many years of slumber. The Professor announces that with the aid of the IBM 9070, he will now be able to find a counter-measure to the Crimson Empire’s volcanic mist that has been creating Zombies. When Garrus asks about the Monkey Paws, the Professor informs him that he just needed a distraction so he could retrieve Eyebeam from the Apes.
Away from the sorcerer’s influence, the Heart of Darkness functions once more. Afraid that Wolfram will follow them to The United Center, The Heroes transport to a small village a few miles from the United Center. They quickly run to the market and search for a merchant selling horses. Finding a stable, The Heroes are told that horses are 50 gold apiece. Low on funds, Amidaeus tries to negotiate for a mule. Lupin willingly pays the 50 gold for her so they can head toward the United Center post haste. Wanda wants to know if she can have a Night Mare (horrible pun). As an afterthought, Lupin hopes that her dad is okay as they ride toward the United Center.
They are informed that the rest of their comrades have already arrived before them and are resting. General Sterling adds that since they arrived, he noticed many things have gone missing. Garrus puts his hand to his face and mutters: “Dimva”, as The Heroes trundle off to a well-deserved rest.
To be continued? ? ?
Thoughts on this Session: This session had a multitude of situations and solutions, starting with the encounter with the Ropers and Darkmantles, to the Professor and Wolfram: a good old slugfest, negotiations and outright fleeing from a superior foe. The Heroes knew when to hold them, and when to fold them. Garrus knew when the odds were against them in the Professor’s lab when he tried to dissuade Kong from going ape over Eyebeam. Lupin’s solution to avoiding combat was by taking the Professor hostage (although, she seemed to forget that he is much more powerful than a mere brain in a jar). Keeping in character, her fleeing from the Lich was a nice touch. Amidaeus’ debut was stellar. Her fighting, attempted negotiations, and observational skill sets were a welcome addition to the group. Bravo to all!!!
Science and Sorcery: Stalagmites and stalactites. How to remember the two apart? You MITE trip over a stalagmite, while stalactites hang TITE to the ceiling. Or, as Ray Palmer taught me: G is for ground, C is for ceiling. Making electricity with Gelatinous Cubes? Real science here people! Just like your car battery (less caustic examples are the potato or lemon clock), a Gelatinous Cube’s acidic composition serves as the electrolytes needed to discharge energy to power the Professors’ laboratory. The IBM (Eyebeam) 9070 was the computer used to help calculate the first moon launch. How in time and space did it arrive here??? Perhaps the Professor knows. . .
° These events were inspired by Drama cards. I am so glad players are, finally, actively using them. They get at least one per pun, usually two a session, so they each have quite a few.
* Material Girl: – Madonna.
** ABBA Song: – Mama Mia.
*** Saintly Nun: – Mother Teresa.
**** Her Cupboard was Bare: – Mother Hubbard.
***** Her Bed was too Soft: – Mama Bear.
****** Planet We Live on: – Mother Earth.
******* Controls the Weather, Flora, Fauna: – Mother Nature.
********Nun Who Thinks She’s Better: Nun = Mother; thinks she’s better = superior – Mother Superior.
*********UFO: – Mother Ship.
**********Start of an Insult: – Your Mama is so. . .
***********Wing of a Hospital: – Maternity Ward.
************Gold Rush: – Mother Load.
Next: Chapter 33 - Pyramid Scheme
Previous: Chapter 31 - K'ave of K'nowledge