- Amidaeus, Female Elf Rogue
- Garrus Ironside, Male Dwarf Cleric
- Lupin Damakos, Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
As The Heroes and Frost Clan (Conrad, Christopher, and Raven) sail back from the Isle of the Elemental Empire (see Return to the Elemental Empire), Conrad suggest they split up. The Wiley Ranger tells The Heroes that it would be best if they went their separate ways since Christopher is still considered a war criminal. Also, Raven and himself are now wanted for breaking Christopher out of jail and bludgeoning the leaders of the United (see Family Reunion). Garrus seems a bit confused and needs the situation to be explained to him several times.
As they prepare to go their separate ways, Christopher promises Lupin that they will talk more later. Garrus asks his companions if they know how to steer a ship. Raven tells them to wait until the boat hits the shore and jump off. The Frost Family jumps ship and swims away from the United’s shores. As the ship plows into the sandy surf, The Heroes leap off. Garrus kneels and kisses the sand, causing him to spew the gritty silica from his lips. Lupin wonders why he would do that, as they weren’t at sea for very long.
Amidaeus reminds him that they need to find Buttercup and protect her at her wedding (see Secret Agendas). Sterling states that is true, but they must travel through the Deep Woods to reach the Orc Lands anyway (No railroading here, no sir). Sterling tells them that the Orc Cleric has passed away and a new cleric is needed to perform the ceremony. A hesitant Garrus declines, stating that he doesn’t do weddings. An eager Amidaeus tells them that she is an ordained minister. Lupin pulls Amidaeus aside and wants to know what she is trying to pull. Amidaeus assures her that she can get a one-day certification on-line through the mobile scrying device. The Heroes agree to investigate the forest on the way to the Orc Lands, but need to tend to some personal matters first.
The old bard is more than happy to relate the exploits of the first Heroes of the United. He goes on and on about Conrad, Epiphany, and Christopher’s daring deeds and accomplishments. Lupin is somewhat impressed by her father’s past life. She learns that her father was one of the greatest swordsmen in the United, and quite a lady’s man. Seeing a portrait of Epiphany, the Teen-aged Tiefling is startled to see it is the Elf-Spirit that brought Willow back to life (see Behind the Scenes). Though the bard has many more tales he wishes to impart on Lupin, she has learned all she needs to know and leaves in mid-story, as the protesting bard implores her to stay.
A helpful librarian assist Garrus in finding the ritual that he seeks. He quickly copies the ritual for breathing under water into his book. Asking for directions, the Diminutive Dwarf trundles off to the local apothecary to purchase some potions of healing. He buys 10 vials of healing and 2 vials of superior healing. Prepared for forthcoming adventures, the Pious Priest heads back to the United Center, all the glass vials clinking and chiming as he goes.
Meanwhile, Amidaeus has found her way to the United’s training grounds and found a sword master to spar with. In an amazing montage, the Agile Elf learns new sword fighting skills and acrobatics befitting her rise to the 17th level. Satisfied with her training, the Robust Rogue confidently returns to the United Center.
Recovering from the soporific attack, Lupin wonders if they will encounter Coni Ferous (see Idol Rumors). Garrus can’t seem to recall who she is until Lupin asks how he could forget a giant tree woman. Amidaeus and Lupin each recover 10 feet of vines that they can use as rope from the defeated foes. Garrus opens the scrying device and tries to contact Conrad. At first they get a message that nobody’s home and to please leave a message at the beep. It turns out that they are only teasing them. Garrus wants to know where they are. Conrad instructs them to head toward the large hill in the center of the forest. He believes that they have tracked Egnarts there. When Garrus asks for directions, Conrad instructs them to head toward the large hill in the center of the forest.
Resorting to the tactics that worked so well last time, Lupin and Willow flank and attack one mound. Garrus and Amidaeus tackle the other. Garrus’ eyes turn white as he launches a lightning strike on the Bristling Bushes. The Monstrous Mounds seem to absorb the electricity and not only heal, but grow larger. Garrus warns the others not to use electricity on the Sinister Shrubs. Amidaeus and Lupin scoff, saying that he is the only one who uses spells. Lupin pulls out her flint and sets a section of her vine rope on fire. Tossing it into one of the shrubs, it starts to burn. Slowly but surely, the terrific trio whittle the woodland beast down. Unexpectedly, a melodic voice whispers through the willows urging everyone to cease fighting.
Lupin wonders if it is Globgums and asks if it is a Myconid , but Coni says he is huge. When asked if she knows what is emanating the evil influence, Coni states that a spell is cast around the hill that prevents any plant life from surviving there. She claims that she can lead them there and use her powers to counter the corruption of plants around her, but will be unable to travel up the hill with them.
Coni cast a spell that prevents Globgums from controlling any other plant life surrounding them. The Terrific Treemale also fires bolts of flames at Globgums. Amidaeus and Garrus flank Globgums on the left and right, using trees for cover. Amidaeus hurls daggers, chopping away at the Massive Mushroom. Garrus cast a variety of spells that harm Globgums while providing restorative hit points for his friends. With surprising speed, The Heroes strike with devastating blows of swords and sorcery. Globgums is reduced to near death as his giant form fades and he becomes the diminutive Mycoind once more.
Coni thanks The Heroes and tells them that the Forrest Folks are grateful to them for ending the evil blight on the woods. She then leads them as far as she can to the large hill. As The Heroes ascend the hill, they notice that the trees, shrubs, and even grass fail to grow closer to the summit. Approaching the top, they see a small wooden shack. In front, they see a large bonfire and four Nymphs dancing to an enchanted tune.
With a burst of speed, Amidaeus runs to the flames and begins to dance. Garrus and Lupin quickly follow. The giddy Heroes join the Nymphs in frolicking laughter and dance. A confused Wanda approaches each of The Heroes and tries to get them to stop.
With much effort, she is able to pick the lock and enter the cabin. As her eyes grow accustom to the dark, she sees the unconscious forms of Conrad, Christopher, and Raven suspended in mid-air by mystic bonds. A sudden flash of electricity strikes Amidaeus; as her world fades to black, the dancing and laughter outside lull her to a merciful slumber.
As The Heroes dance, the Nymphs regale them with puns about St. Patrick/Irish foods and drinks.
HORRIBLE ST. PATRICK/IRISH FOODS AND DRINKS PUNS
1: Cow Eating Cobs.*
2: Carbonated Loaf.**
3: Flock Tender’s Pastry.***
4: St. Patrick’s Caffeine.****
5: Verdant Ale.*****
6: Vibrating 4-Leaf Clover.******
7: Alec’s Ale.*******
8: Fortunate Trinkets.********
9: Tuber Flapjack.*********
10: St. Patrick Fuming.**********
Solving the horrible puns, The Heroes continue to dance and dance and dance. . .
To be continued? ? ?
Thoughts on this Session: After a couple sessions with minimal fighting, the non-stop battles in this session were a welcome change of pace. More friends and foes from the past are making appearances as we try to bring everything to a conclusion for the Crimson Empire campaign. Wonderful, silly, conversations abound this session, from the AT&T/AD&D mobile scrying device and Garrus’ lack of technical skills, to Lupin and Amidaeus’ argument about who should lead the trek into the forest. All three also took the imitative to learn about their past, garner new spells, and train themselves. Lupin showed some pent-up frustration as she battled her old companion Globgums. Long simmering hostility gave their battle some real gravitas. Garrus showed his concern for others by purchasing healing potions for everyone in case he is unable to aid them in time. The debacle at sea also encouraged him to look into the breathing underwater spell. Amidaeus subtly steered the adventure toward her revenge against the Orc General: Nagleth Iron Fist. Reminding the United about Buttercup’s upcoming nuptials and claiming to be a cleric in order to assassinate her parent’s murderer; she creeps closer to vengeance. Bravo to all!!!
Who is Globgums? Globgums was originally a PC controlled by Andy who appeared in Chapters 1—12. An aggressive meta-gamer, much of his contributions were to bring the game to a halt and try to do the opposite of anything a normal PC would. Never interacting with NPCs and treating Lupin like crap, he switched characters several times. His final incarnation was Wizbang the Drow Wizard. All basically the same obstinate personality with different skills. As I bring this saga to a close, I will try to bring a final resolution to as many old characters as I can.
* Cow Eating Cobs: – Cow = beef; cobs = corn—Corned Beef.
** Carbonated Loaf: Carbonated = soda; loaf = bread –Soda Bread.
*** Flock Tender’s Pastry: – Flock tender = shepherd; pastry = pie—Shepherd’s Pie.
**** St. Patrick’s Caffeine: – St. Patrick = Irish; caffeine = coffee—Irish Coffee.
***** Verdant Ale: – Verdant = green; ale = beer—Green Beer.
****** Vibrating 4-Leaf Clover: – Vibrating = shake; 4-leaf clover = shamrock—Shamrock Shake.
******* Alec’s Ale: – Alec = Guinness; ale = beer—Guinness Beer.
******** Fortunate Trinkets: —Fortunate = lucky; trinkets = charms—Lucky Charms.
********* Tuber Flapjack: —Tuber = potato; flapjack = pancake—Potato Pancake.
********** St. Patrick Fuming: —St. Patrick = Irish; fuming = stewing—Irish Stew.
Next: Chapter 40 - Life and Death
Previous: Chapter 38 - Return to the Elemental Empire