Three players were present:
- Lupin Damakos, Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
—Zanna Stone, Female Gnome Entropist - Lobis Thunderfoot, Male Gnome ????
—Gromm Bonebiter, Male Goliath Guardian - Amidaeus, Female Elf Rogue
—Teba Anvilpriest, Female Warforged Anvilpriest
Editor’s note: With only three players available, each player took on the additional roles of a backup PC. The three backup characters are slightly augmented NPCs from the Monster Manual, so you may notice they are slightly weaker with fewer abilities than the PCs.
On the first night, as The Heroes drift off to sleep, the engines and sloshing of the waters seem particularly loud. On the second and third night, the sounds seem to have diminished. The Heroes chalk the earlier excessive noise off to exhaustion from their battle.
Arriving at The United Center, The Heroes are greeted by the Heads of the United: King Mork, General Sterling, Baron Damocles, and Aunt Lilly. As the waters are unloaded and taken down to the Professor’s lab, Ahab reminds The Heroes that Lupin promised him that the United would pay two thousand gold coins upon delivery. Lupin feigns ignorance and quickly scampers away. Lobis does recall Lupin’s promise and informs a sputtering General Sterling that Ahab should be paid. The Smiling Scoundrel reminds them that: “A promise made, is a debt unpaid.”
Before she turns in for the night, Lupin decides to survey the Village of Halsted, just outside of the United Center. She searches for hidden glyphs and esoteric symbols around town that show that the thieves’ guild does indeed have a presence near the United Center. Confident that she will be able to contact the guild in the future, she returns to her living quarters. As the exhausted Heroes retire to their chambers, their slumber is disturbed when they each receive a separate knock on their doors.
Christopher begins to relate more of his history with Lupin’s mother, Lupa, and why he left her. “Your mother and I grew up together in the United Center. After many years of friendship, we eventually fell in love. Unfortunately, an old flame of mine returned and revealed that, unbeknown to me, we had a child together several years ago. I grew up without a father and felt I should do the right thing and raise him with her. I told Lupa and she stormed off, rightfully so. I had no idea she was pregnant, and she never told me. If she did, I never would have left. Ironically, in trying to do what I thought best for one child, I destroyed my chances with my twin daughters. If I never left, perhaps I could have prevented your mother and sister from going to Hell. And you growing up alone. And me becoming a vampire. . . Believe it or not, your Uncle Damocles and I are working together to get your mother and sister out of hell.” Lupin doesn't believe that she would be of much help infiltrating Hell because she is already somewhat known there. The Teen-age Tiefling relates that she and her companions already visited Hell, fought in a tournament (neglects to mention that they met her sister), escaped from Éd Varsary, attacked the Devils who were helping them escape, and were unceremoniously kicked out (see Hell in a Handbasket). Christopher is somewhat stunned by this revelation.
Christopher continues, “Lupin, I know it’s too late for me to be a father to you, but perhaps I can be. . . A friend?” Lupin reluctantly agrees but says that it might be a little weird. Christopher states, “Tell me about it. Physically, I’m only a few years older than you.” Tapping her scabbard with the tip of his boot, Christopher asks if she would care to spar. Eager to show him up, Lupin readily agrees. As they face each other in the courtyard, Lupin feels like she is standing still. She is an excellent swordsman, but Christopher manages to deflect her every strike, penetrate her every defense with ease. Lupin recalls the stories she learned from the bard about her father’s legendary skill with a blade (see Prime-Evil Forest) and realizes that it was not an exaggeration. He begins to teach her how to read an opponent’s body. To see where their eyes look, how their weight shifts, how the muscles tense and relax, foreshadowing their every move. And Lupin does indeed learn. So well that she gains a +2 to her sword fighting skills by the time they depart.
Complimenting her on her abilities, the Mighty Monarch enquires if she would be interested in accepting another assignment for him. He tells her that “There is a mysterious middleman named William Williamsworth, a human who is procuring relics of an ancient god from various Orc tribes. He is a mere tool doing the bidding of some unidentified buyer. For what purpose is unclear. The real culprit committing the thefts is a male Elf.” Unrolling a scroll, Amidaeus comes face to face with a sketch of Malachi (her ex). The Elated Elf gleefully accepts. When the Bulky Brute questions if she knows him, she replies that she does indeed. The Colossal King laughs and proclaims that it takes an elf to catch an elf.
Lobis understands, and recalls how Epiphany’s clan took the Gnome in when he was lost and confused. How she trained him in swordsmanship and healing. And how she inspired him to battle the Crimson Empire. That reminds Epiphany that she has a gift for him from the Feywild. The Powerful Paladin produces a Wisp Familiar which Lobis can transfer his powers of healing through. Lobis thanks her and the two friends depart, leaving Lobis to ponder upon Epiphany’s words.
The Vampires seem concerned. Many members of the resistance have been discovered and murdered by Lord Chronos. They are in desperate need to find more allies within the undead ranks. Fortunately, there will be a meeting of some of the top leaders of the Crimson Empire being hosted at the Acountess’ Village of Supermodels (see No Accountess for Taste).
The Heroes enquire if Lord Chronos will be there. Adonis proclaims that Chronos will be joining the meeting from his castle stronghold. Because Chronos is technologically inept, Adonis will be beside him, hosting the Zoom-bie conference call. General Sterling instructs The Heroes to journey to the meeting and covertly discover each member’s true allegiance. To aid them in their mission, they will be accompanied by three other agents of the United.
Lobis is delighted that there is another Gnome in the party. When he engages Zanna in conversation, the hyper, chatty Gnome rattles off a stream of thought monologue while bouncing around. Intrigued by the dark metallic Warforged, Lobis attempts to touch her but the Metal Mistress moves with incredible speed and grabs his wrist while silently shaking her head toward him. The Gigantic Goliath Gromm begins to speak with a tiny high-pitched voice that belies his beefy bulk. A strange lot of new companions indeed.
Reaching the Village of Supermodels, the Accountess instructs them on their mission. They are to each pose as an attendant to one of the leaders of the undead. They will then attempt to ascertain their fidelity to the Crimson Empire. With luck, they may convince some, or all, to join the resistance.
Amidaeus reminds him that it is an unsustainable plan. If they kill all of the living, what will they eat? She then pulls out the mushroom cap head of Globgums (see Prime-Evil Forest) and offers him a vegetarian option. The Humongous Hulk asks for bread and she rushes off to find some.
Alone, Teba speaks for the first time!!! She says that there are other protein options besides humans they can consume and it is possible that they can find a land of their own to call home. The Colossal Cannibal seems to see the wisdom in her words and shakes his head in agreement. Retuning with a loaf of bread, Amidaeus is somewhat puzzled to hear Togar proclaim that Teba can be quite persuasive as he gulps down his portabella burger.
Lupin tries to gage Helen’s commitment to the cause. She finds out that Helen and many of the top cadre of Hell are opposed to Éd Varsary’s alliance with the Crimson Empire and wish to dissolve it. When asked why they don’t, The Demonic Dame replies that Hell is not a democracy. As long as Éd is in charge, they must follow his wishes. Lupin suggests that she may want to speak to the Accountess. A quick diplomacy check and Helen thanks her for her suggestion.
Lobis tries to convince him that he doesn’t have to serve the Crimson Empire. That he could join the United and live and study from the extensive libraries throughout the lands. The Withered Wizard laughs and asks if he truly thinks that an undead being would ever be accepted by the living, if they would let an undead being study their most guarded magical spells. The Midget Mage proclaims that he was once a living being, and he would never have accepted one such as himself. Lobis assures him that the living and undead can indeed live in harmony and extends his hand. A pensive Borglum thinks for a moment, then shakes his hand. As he leaves, Lobis discretely wipes the yellowed and flaking flesh off his hand.
As the vapid valley-girls’ hyper hyperbole rapidly rises, Zanna manages to get in some pertinent questions. She discovers that Sapphire’s queendom is a giant hive. And that she isn’t concerned with the undead conquering the world because insects eat the bones and dried flesh of the dead. The Pollenating Princess also believes that with everyone else gone, the insects will evolve into the dominant life-form on earth. The conversation concludes with a contest to see who can stuff the most cookies in their mouths at once.
The Accountess sits at the head of table, but Vanessa Vasquez is the first to address the conference. Standing up she begins to circle the table as she speaks. She states that there are traitors in their mist and that an example must be made to all who would betray Lord Chronos and the Crimson Empire. As she steps behind the Accountess, she suddenly plunges a dagger into her back, impaling her through her heart.
In an attempt to sow confusion, Lobis yells out that Vanessa is a usurper. Togar leaps out of his seat and begins to charge toward the fray when Teba quickly steps in front of him. Teba cocks her head and slowly wags a finger toward him. After a brief standoff, Togar nods in respect and exits the chamber. The Skull Lord rises and unleashes a frost ray that sends Lupin flying. Lobis then declares that the Skull Lord is trying to destroy everyone.
Sapphire grabs Zanna and asks her what is she doing. Zanna replies that Vanessa killed the Accountess, so she must be a traitor. Sapphire doesn’t know what to do or who to believe. Her confusion and anxiety cause them both to have a panic attack. Declaring Zanna her BFF, she tells her to jump on her back and she’ll fly them to her hive. Zanna is surprised that she has wings. As a pair of butterfly wings emerge from her back, Zanna hops on and they fly away. While in the air, it dawns on her that she is flying to a hive filled with carnivorous insects.
The Skull Lord continues to attack with rays of fire and ice, striking Lupin and Teba. Using all of his brute force, Gromm manages to knock Vanessa prone again. Amidaeus decides Vanessa is the greatest threat and rushes in to capture her. Using her magic lasso to bind her, she mistakenly confuses the adjective unbreakable with unescapable. With Vanessa bound, Lupin and Amidaeus turn their attention to the Skull Lord.
Borglum aims his glowing wand at Lobis. Lobis pleads with Borglum to stop fighting and join with them. With a look of sorrow, Borglum utters an incantation that allows him to switch places with Zanna. Zanna suddenly pops in next to Lobis.
Amidaeus tries to ascertain what the Skull Lord is fighting for. The roundabout talk recaps what he told Gromm earlier. He wants every living creature destroyed so the skeletons can live in a strife free world of peace. Amidaeus and Lupin try to convince him to go to Limbo. It’s nice and peaceful and ruled by someone whose name is literally Lady Die! He claims that they will not trick him into leaving this world.
They then suggest a volcanic isle. The Skeletons can live in peace in an environment where no other living beings can. He claims mortals will eventually come and hunt them down out of fear. With no prospect of negotiation, The Heroes surround the Skull Lord and bludgeon his bones to brittle bits.
Searching the Accountess’ body, Lupin finds a signet ring that she takes in case they encounter resistance when departing the village. As Amidaeus searches Vanessa, she finds a pouch of gold and a scroll with a series of puns about the beach.
HORRIBLE BEACH PUNS
Food
1: Overheated Pooch.*
2: Citrus Assist.**
3: Optic Yell.***
Objects
4: Sand Shawl.****
5: Solar Protector.*****
6: Fancy Party on the Shore.******
7: Granular Fortress.*******
8: Solar Shades.********
The shade addresses The Heroes and demands to know why they keep thwarting his plans. Amidaeus calls him a Dummy and says that he is the one waging war on everyone else. Chronos laughs and proclaims that he is waging a war to save lives. The Heroes are dubious at best, and demand to know what he means.
The Sinister Silhouette sneers. “It is not a war to be won, but a perpetual war that pits the living against the undead. It is the only way to prevent the future. You are aware of the teleportation properties of The Heart of Darkness stones that can transport you across space, but what you do not know, is that they can also transport you through time. I traveled to the future and witnessed the greatest genocide the world had ever seen. And worst, the greatest cover up in history. I was trapped in the future for 500 years until man created ships that could leave the planet. I managed to steal one and found a way back through a rift in space.”
Lobis is leery and doesn’t wish to be sent to the future. The Heroes cannot decide what to do, or if they should even trust him. As the Zoom-bie call reaches its conclusion, Chronos instructs them to meet him at the Red River Rock the next full moon if they wish to be sent to the future. As the connection fades, The Heroes are left wondering if he is telling the truth; if they should go to the future; and if they do, how will they return?
To be continued? ? ?
Thoughts on this Session: Utterly fantastic session! Everyone played in character and helped to create a truly amazing story. The new backup character’s personalities and voices (or in Teba’s case, no voice) were well thought out and performed. Not really going to highlight everyone’s personal performances this time because they are all illustrated pretty clearly in the recap. From the nocturnal visits to their chambers, to their treating with the leaders of the Crimson Empire, to their confrontation with Lord Chronos, each incident was handled in character. Again, it is emersion like this that allows fantastic collaborative storytelling to occur. Bravo to all!!!
Who is Sapphire? Believe it or not, Queen Sapphire was introduced way back in Chapter 1. She is not mentioned in the Chapter 1 recap because she was introduced via a written message to the PC Baraku the Shardmind Psion (player dropped out after 2 games). These written messages were first mentioned in Behind the Scenes, the following is the written message he received: You are approached by a stunning raven haired beauty wearing a skintight red dress. She runs her hand playfully over your crystal skin and asks: “What woman wouldn’t be attracted to a man made of jewels?” “But women like a man with intelligence.” She drapes a +2 intelligence medallion over your shoulders and disappears into the crowd. Try as you might, you cannot get into her mind. In fact, you get a strange buzzing sound. Originally intended to be a much more malevolent and cunning schemer, her personality went out the window when Zanna chose to go to her. Zanna’s hyper-excited, giddy personality was something that I thought would be fun for Sapphire to match.
* Overheated Pooch: Overheated=hot; pooch=dog—Hot Dog.
** Citrus Assist: Citrus=Lemon; assist=aid—Lemonade.
*** Optic Yell: Optic=eye; yell=scream—Ice Scream.
**** Sand Shawl: Sand=beach; shawl=blanket—Beach Blanket.
***** Solar Protector: Solar=sun; protector=screen—Sun Screen.
****** Fancy Party on the Shore: – Fancy Party=ball; shore=beach—Beach Ball.
******* Granular Fortress: Granular=sand; fortress=castle—Sand Castle.
******** Solar Shades: Solar=sun; shades=glasses—Sun Glasses.
Next: Chapter 45 - Scum and Villainy
Previous: Chapter 43 - Aerial Adversaries