- Garrus Ironside,
Male Dwarf Cleric - Erith Elmaris,
Male Elf Druid - Dimva Murkahm,
Male Dwarf Rogue - Lupin Damakos,
Female Tiefling Rogue
+ Willow, Cat Animal Companion
Suddenly, Baron Damocles cold-cocks the young man with a blow that renders him unconscious. Declaring him a war criminal, members of the United take him into custody. Dimva turns to Lupin and begins to chant “Lock her up!”
She demands to know who her “Father” is. Damocles reveals that Count Christoph is actually Christopher Frost. And that her mother is his sister: Lupa. Damocles continues that Lupin is now the Baroness of Damocles.
All this is too much information overload for Lupin. She is in shock that her father is the brother of “That crazy hermit.” When she asks where her Mother is, he replies that she ran away with her so at least one of her daughters could escape from their Grandfather. Damocles informs her that her twin sister is in Hell (see Hell in a Handbasket).
Lupin has heard enough, she runs away from Damocles before he can tell her more. She wants to hear the story from Conrad first-hand and runs off to find him.
Guzzling from their gallon-sized steins, Garrus begins to question Aunt Lilly about Christopher Frost and the Crimson Empire. Lilly reiterates the history of the Crimson Empire and how the seven volcanos are producing the mystic mist that colors the very sky Crimson and raises the dead from their graves.
Three of the volcanos have been destroyed so far (see Prelude to the Crimson Empire, The Heroes United, and Volcanic Rock and Roll). But the mystic pentagrams that produce the fumes are still active in the remaining four, each located deep within the occupied territories of the Crimson Empire.
When questioned about Christopher Frost, Lilly relates that he is the younger brother of Conrad Frost. They were the greatest heroes and founders of the United (see Tales of the Crimson Empire). When Christopher was turned, Conrad couldn’t find it in his heart to kill his brother.
Christopher, now Count Christoph, knew all the strengths and weakness of the United. He led the forces of the undead to victory after victory against the United. Between the tragedy of losing his wife and brother, the one man who could stop him gave up and left the United.
HORRIBLE WINTER/COLD PUNS
(has ice, cold, snow, etc. in name)
1: Chilly Ball and Socket Joint.*
2: Opposite of Hot Back.**
3: Frosty’s Testicles.***
4: Frosty’s Dandruff.****
5: Rapper (1).*****
6: Rapper (2).******
7: Disney Animated Movie.*******
8: Lunch Meats.********
9: White Bruin.*********
10: Unsolved Crime.**********
11: Chilly Blister.***********
12: Frozen Milk.************
Finding hidden gold and potions, they are taken by surprise as the very ground begins to tremble around them. A large subterranean beast emerges from the earth.
To the shock of all, Erith begins to engage in passionate and consensual intercourse with the Horny Horror. A quick cigarette and exchange of phone numbers leads to a satisfying climax.
Entering the prison, Lupin is startled to see a pair of unconscious guards. Rushing down the corridor she sees a freed Christopher Frost accompanied by his brother, Conrad and the rogue Raven Redwing. Behind them she sees General Sterling, Baron Damocles, and King Mork on the ground.
Conrad growls at Lupin to get out of the way but she stands her ground. Christopher intercedes and proclaims that she is his daughter. He then introduces Conrad as Lupin’s Uncle and Raven as her Cousin!!!
Lupin demands to know where they are going. Conrad tells her that they are going to save his wife. Christopher urges Lupin to join them and promises to explain everything on the way. A reluctant Lupin agrees and promises to join them once she gathers some things. Rushing to her quarters, she retrieves a large red gem from her hiding place. A vermillion gem the size of a melon: The Heart of Darkness.
Setting sail on a small schooner, Lupin demands answers from the family Frost. Meanwhile, Erith has turned into a Seagull and follows the small craft. While in the air, a female Seagull initiates a mating ritual with him (Editor’s note: Erith is a very handsome Elf, so it makes sense that his polymorphed beast shape is also attractive to members of the opposite sex). A flurry of feathers begins to fall upon the deck as Erith begins to engage in passionate and consensual intercourse with the Aroused Avian. After scrambling her eggs, Erith perches atop a mast to listen in to the conversation below.
The Teen-age Tiefling asks why he fought for the Crimson Empire. Christopher explains that a vampire is under control of the one who turned him until he is released or one of them dies. He was able to trick Lord Chronos when he died on the Astral Plane. She asks Conrad why he didn’t stop Christopher. Conrad says that he tried to, many times, but could never bring himself to hurt his brother.
Lupin wants to know where they are headed. Raven states that they are going to save Conrad’s wife, her mother, Epiphany, at the Elemental Empire. Lupin warns them that she is wanted there for the assignation of King Thundarr (see Diplomatic Impunity). Raven states that she knows that the current King, Odrom is the one who murdered Thundarr. Lupin wants to know how they are going to save Epiphany, Raven reveals a large red gem that matches Lupin’s.
Realizing that neither of them know how to sail, the ship begins to drift in circles. Erith returns and relates what he heard and where they are heading.
A sudden crash throws them off their feet as the ship collides into a large rock. Dimva rushes to the “basement” to investigate. He sees water flowing through a gaping hole. Spotting a crate of rum, he grabs two bottles and returns to the deck. Referring to Garrus as Dad, he tells him that he has good news and bad. Presenting the bottles of rum they gleefully each down a bottle.
When Garrus asks what the bad news is, Dimva tells him that there is a swimming pool in the basement. Rushing below deck, the drunken duo manage to salvage the crate of rum and proceed to down a few more bottles as they contemplate what to do next.
Conrad sighs and hands the spy glass over to Lupin. “Should we save them?” He asks rhetorically. Peering through the glass, Lupin agrees they should before they drown. Quickly picking up their waterlogged companions (they were only 100 feet from shore), the schooner swiftly heads toward the Isle of the Elemental Empire.
To be continued? ? ?
Thoughts on this Session: Not so much action this session and yet, so much happened. There was a lot of information to absorb about Lupin’s background. Wasn’t planning to reveal so much at once but Lupin’s refusal to talk to Barron Damocles led to the jailbreak and confrontation with dear old dad sooner rather than later. We’re learning more about the Frost family and what caused their departure from the United. Garrus, Dimva, and Erith used their time wisely to collect information on the Crimson Empire and their mystic volcanos. The three were extremely amusing getting drunk, seducing animals, and trying to sail. Bravo to all!!!
* Chilly Ball and Socket Joint: – Chilly = cold; ball and socket joint = shoulder—Cold Shoulder.
** Opposite of Hot Back: – Opposite hot = cold; opposite back = front—Cold Front.
*** Frosty’s Testicles: – Frosty = snow; testicles = balls—Snow Balls.
**** Frosty’s Dandruff: – Frosty = snow; dandruff = flakes—Snow Flakes.
***** Rapper (1): – Ice Cube.
****** Rapper (2): – Ice-T.
******* Disney Animated Movie: – Frozen.
********Lunch Meats: —Cold Cuts.
*********White Bruin: —White = Polar; bruin = bear—Polar Bear.
**********Unsolved Crime: —Cold Case.
***********Chilly Blister: – Chilly = cold; blister = sore—Cold Sore.
************Frozen Milk: – Frozen = ice; milk = cream—Ice Cream.
Next: Chapter 38 - Return to the Elemental Empire
Previous: Chapter 36 - Brides and Prejudice