Enuffdain, Male Elf Paladin
Humperdink, Female Dragonborn Fighter
Wizbang Dazzle Pants, Male Drow Wizard
Lupin Damakos, Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
Egnarts, Male Human Sorcerer
Torek, Male Dwarf Cleric
(Lupin and Humperdink would Skype in late. Just before the Heroes are about to do battle in the arena.)
Darkness. Defused lighting forces its way into The Heroes eyes, as streams of consciousness begins to flood their minds. Awakening with a start, The Heroes find themselves in an opulent room filled with crystal chandeliers, gold, silver, Persian rugs, and silk curtains (think stereotypic Arabian brothel). As The Heroes try to recall how they got here (Side Note: They didn't. Not one of them remembered that a demonic Immolith incinerated/teleported them at the end of Chapter 21), a beautiful Elven woman enters the room with flourish. Felicity welcomes The Heroes to Hell; in return, she is greeted with stunned silence and blank stares (Side Note: No one recognized her, even though they battled her in Mini-Adventures 1, 4, and 6!!! EVEN WITH PROMPTING!!! And then they laughed about it! Why do I even bother???). Felicity reveals her true form, a Succubus! She tells them that (Side Note: Now pay attention here, because this causes great confusion and contention later) they are going to help her take control of Hell, as her champions. Every 666 years, the upper echelon of the Nine Hells has a gladiatorial contest to see who will preside as the ruler of Hell. The Sultry She-Demon states that no one would dream that a mere Succubus could emerge victorious. |
Éd cranes his neck and squints his eyes in the direction of Egnarts. “EGNARTS?!?!?! Is that you?!?!?! Didn’t I warn you to never return here again?” the Despotic Devil bellows at the top of his massive lungs. Egnarts seems genuinely confused. He states that he doesn’t remember much of his past, but asks that bygones be bygones. With a voice that reverberates through the Nine Hells, Éd bellows: “After what you did to my daughter???”, as the other Devils and Demons try to suppress their smirks and snickering. Barely controlling his temper, the Humongous Horror reclines back into his throne, stating that it will be amusing to see them perish in the arena.
It was at this point that Brianna/Lupin and Amylynn/Humperdink Skyped in. The situation and terms of Felicity’s bargain was reiterated, but this time, the male contingency protested. They thought THEY were going to rule Hell if they won, even though it was stated that they were to be her champions. We all realized that was why they were so amiable to the deal. After much back and forth, pouting and sulking, they reluctantly agreed to go along, vowing to renegotiate the terms. I suppose this could be considered a valuable learning point: Always get your deal with the devil in writing. The funny thing is that I wasn’t even trying to trick them. I thought the get out of Hell deal was pretty sweet incentive, in and of itself.
Egnarts next lightening attack is ineffectual against them. The Heroes eventually figure out the Maw's resistance power and attack with alternating spells. The Maws strike with speed and might. Their vicious attacks begin to take its toll on The Heroes. Enuff and Torek use their healing spells to bolster their companion's health. After a prolonged round, The Heroes emerge battered, but victorious.
As The Heroes recuperate between rounds, they find a scroll engraved with Summer Puns:
HORRIBLE SUMMER PUN NUMBER 1: Light Brown Male Child.*
HORRIBLE SUMMER PUN NUMBER 2: Grainy Fortress.**
HORRIBLE SUMMER PUN NUMBER 3: Chef Exit.***
HORRIBLE SUMMER PUN NUMBER 4: Choose a Small Cut.****
HORRIBLE SUMMER PUN NUMBER 5: Highway Stumble.*****
HORRIBLE SUMMER PUN NUMBER 6: Female Dog's Gala.******
This session was a tad abridged, due to the fact that we started an hour late, and the three EST members of our Skype contingency wanted to end at Midnight (Eleven pm CST). Hopefully, we will have a normal session next time.
* Light Brown Male Child: Light brown = tan; male child = son – Son (Sun) Tan.
** Grainy Fortress: Grainy = sandy; fortress = castle – Sand Castle.
*** Chef Exit: Chef = cook; exit = out – Cook Out.
**** Choose a Small Cut: Choose = pick; small cut = nick – Picnic.
***** Highway Stumble: Highway = road; stumble = trip – Road Trip.
****** Female Dog's Gala: Female dog = bitch; gala = ball – Bitch (Beach) Ball.
Each Player received a random Drama Card for solving a pun.
Next: Chapter 23 - Hell in a Handbasket (Hellish Rumble)
Previous: Chapter 21 - Bones and Stones