Five players were present:
- Ffion Tanwen,
Female Dragonborn Cleric - Mortos,
Male Tiefling Druid - Garrus Ironside,
Male Dwarf Paladin - Erith Elmaris,
Male Elf Vampire - Lupin Damakos,
Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
Staring through the shades, the Sexy She-Demon sighs and compliments him on the beautiful job he’s done. The Damsel Demon denotes that their parents would be so proud. Rising out of bed, a confused Mortos enquires as to what exactly happened last night. The Female Fiend frets that he partied too much last night. Sotrom then reminds him that they were out with the rest of The Heroes celebrating the 10th anniversary of the end of the war.
The Stout Spouse states that this happens every year when his friends get together to celebrate the end of the war. A stunned Garrus asks what she means; how long has the war been over? The Blushing Bride babbles that it’s been 10 years since the war ended. The Confused Cleric cites how he restored his family honor and led their clan into the final battle. At that moment, a dwarven boy comes running in. Leaping onto the bed, he asks his “Dad” if he’ll play with him. A stunned Garrus assures him that he will as he desperately tries to think of his name. Sappha softly shoos Garrud away, explaining to him that they must prepare the tavern for the celebration.
A stunned Lupin attempts to gather her wits as the Beautiful Bard berates Lupin for boozing with her buddies and reminds her that she needs to get ready for the awards ceremony, as she is one of the representing generals for the United. Deciding to play along, Lupin enquires if Baron Damocles will be joining them. With a pained look, the Melancholy Musician mentions that her Uncle was slain in the final battle with the Crimson Empire and that Epiphany is now in charge of the United.
The Lady Leech laughs and tells him: “You must have been drinking some really powerful alcohol if it can effect a vampire.” Erith asks if this is their home. The Vampire Vixen verbalizes that they normally live in Lord Chronos’ former castle but are here in Tiny Town for the ceremony.
A befuddled Ffion proclaims that the last she heard about her, Abertha was stealing scrolls about the lost sword of Bahamut. The Perplexed Pixie purports that that was ages ago, before Ffion received the Heart of Coni Ferous and healed her village. The Fantastic Fey fondly reminds her how they fought, but Ffion overpowered her and returned her back to normal with the Waters of Restoration. Despite her confusion, Ffion chortles as she recalls how they used to tussle in the woods when they were both younger and so in love. The Roguish Ranger reminds Ffion that her brother Eurig eventually found the sword and became leader of all of the Dragonborn.
A suspicious Sappha enquires as to why he is acting so strange. The Diminutive Dwarf declares that he is still feeling the effects of last night’s drinking binge. Sappha proclaims to all that they have a busy day and night ahead of them once the festivities start, so they had best get the place in shape. Needing to clear his head, Garrus trundles off to the right and proclaims that he is going to the cellar to fetch another keg. The male bartender discreetly points to the left and Garrus turns and proceeds down the stairs to the cellar. Hefting a keg, Garrus turns in surprise when he hears a whispered voice tell him: “I’m sorry”. Unable to locate the source, he warily returns up the stairs.
A disbelieving Mortos places his hand over her mouth and demands to know exactly how they defeated Lord Chronos. A frightened Sotrom claims that To’Mas battled Lord Chronos in single combat, a battle that resulted in both of their deaths. Wiping a luggie on her to end the conversation, Mortos drags her towards the tavern.
The Stupefied Scoundrel surreptitiously attempts to see if Garrus is experiencing any strange time shift, but Garrus tries to act as if everything is fine. The Terrific Tiefling tries to find out what the last thing Garrus remembers before waking up. The Pious Paladin professes that his memory is fuzzy, but attributes it to drinking too much last night.
As the three Heroes compare their experiences, Ffion and Abertha enter the tavern, flowed by Mortos and Sotrom. Surrounded by their concerned loved ones, The Heroes excuse themselves by claiming they need to help Garrus retrieve some kegs from the cellar (not suspicious at all!).
Mortos drags a protesting Sotrom off on their own. Lupin and Rose decide to go in another direction. Ffion, Abertha, Erith, and Rhonda decide to go on a double date. As Garrus begins to clean up behind the bar, Sappha sighs and laments that she wishes that they didn’t have to celebrate the end of the war every year. Garrus wonders what the purpose of it is. A melancholy Sappha replies that perhaps it is to forget the sorrow of all that was lost, or never will be.
Still demanding to know how they won, a frightened Sotom tries to explain that they won by simply overpowering the enemy. An angry Mortors slaps her on the back of her head and drags her past a large statue of a Blood Squirrel honoring The Heroes in the square. Throngs of passing people begin to recognize him and begin to applaud and slap him on the back. A confused Mortos actually kind of enjoys the admiration.
As Lupin and Rose meander through the streets, Rose suddenly becomes serious. She tells Lupin that she needs to keep it together. The Sultry Singer states that since Quintin Quagmire appointed Lupin leader of the Thieves Guild, others have been plotting against her. The Worried Warbler reminds Lupin that she had to kill Babs/Vixen when she challenged her for leadership. Lupin then enquires as to what happened to her old boyfriend, Cornelius. A smiling Rose reminds Lupin that Cornelius had beaten her in the United Center. When Lupin found out, she killed him and declared her love for her. The Lady Larcenist looks at their fingers and sees matching wedding bands.
Recalling that the last thing they remember is searching for Father Fredrick, the group heads for the church. As they walk, The Heroes find out from their loved ones that there is a grand ceremony in the town square where every year they are presented with some kind of award. When Ffion enquires as to what kind of awards, Abertha informs them that one year was a gold medal, another a jewel coated dagger, and another a $20 Costco gift card. Feeling hungry, a confused Erith asks Rhonda how they get their blood now. Bursting into laughter, the Evil Incubus informs Erith that since they helped defeat the Crimson Empire, they are rock stars. That people line up to willingly donate their blood to them.
The Cunning Criminal cues them in that it was Brugor’s voice that was apologizing to them in the cellar. Erith finds Ffion’s ring on the ground and realizes that he must return it to her when she awakens.
As The Heroes catch their breath and try to reconcile the events that just occurred, they realize that the entire adventure, into what may have been their secret desires, occurred in the blink of an eye. The Sphynx approaches them and enquires if they would like to solve a series of puns about Homonyms (so much was going on that we forgot the puns).
1: Glance at a High Point.*
2: Remembering the Dead in the AM.**
3: Sickly Alcoholic Beverage.***
4: Tired Vegetable.****
5: Penny Odor.*****
6: Cold Bean Stew in South America.******
7: Squeaky Stream of Water.*******
8: Abandon an After Dinner Treat in a Dry Land.********
9: Equal Price.*********
10: Advancing Book Intro.**********
11: Hello from Above.***********
12: Eat More than Seven.************
With the puns solved, The Heroes search for To’Mas.
To be continued? ? ?
Lupin tried to play it cool. Trying to ply Rose for information, she realized that everything she had wanted came true. Respect as both a general of the United and Leader of the Thieves Guild; proving herself to be Babs superior; and finding true love. Her suspicious nature let her figure out the Mind-Flayer’s illusions at the end. Garrus woke up to discover that everything he ever wanted came true. Married to the woman he always loved, a son named after his deceased brother Garrud; his family honor restored; and retired from adventuring and running a tavern. Of all The Heroes, he seemed the most comfortable in this strange situation. All of Erith’s dreams seemed to have come true as well. The return of Rhonda; the respect and adoration of grateful villagers; living in a large castle; being treated like family amongst The Heroes; and people willingly donating blood to him. Perhaps it seemed too good, since he was one of the most suspicious Heroes. Ffion seemed to show the most acceptance in this situation. Receiving Coni Ferous’ heart and the Waters of Restoration ended her quests to cure her village and regained her true love. Of all the players and PCs, she was the one who thought that this might actually be the future. Even though Mortos’ dreams of being a farmer came true, his paranoia and suspicious nature was on over-drive from the start. But this time his mistrust was actually justified. His cruel treatment of Sotrom was every younger sibling’s nightmare. But even he appreciated being recognized as a hero by the town’s folk. Bravo to all!!!
(in order of appearance/mentioned during the session)
Farm – Mortos revealed that he is just a simple farmer and wants to return to his homestead in Choices & Consequences.
Sappha – Garrus revealed the woman he has always loved in Rock of Ages.
Garrud – Garrus named his son after his deceased brother who became a Death Knight and was put to his final rest in Fratricide & Fortunes.
Rose – Lupin’s former traveling companion was introduced in Scum and Villainy. It was revealed that Lupin had desires for her in Rock of Ages.
Baron Damocles/Epiphany – Leaders of the United who have appeared in far too many adventures to mention. They are also Lupin’s Maternal Uncle and Paternal Aunt, respectivly.
Rhonda/how they get their blood – Erith first met Rhonda in Choices & Consequences. The consequences of her providing food for him came to a head in Conflicts of Interest.
Abertha – Ffion revealed that Abertha was her lover in Rock of Ages.
Sword of Bahamut/Eurig – The Sword was mentioned again when Ffion’s brother was introduced in Choices & Consequences.
Coni Ferous’ heart – Ffion discovered that the way to cure her village was if she received the heart of a living Treant in Fratricide & Fortunes.
Waters of Restoration – Ffion was introduced when she joined The Heroes in search of the purloined healing Waters in Sleeping with the Enemy.
Adventurer’s Respite – Was the name of a tavern mentioned by the player that Garrus would like to run when he retired.
Operation Renascence – General Valentine was summoned to the United Center to lead all of the armies of the United in one final battle against the Crimson Empire in Drunkards & Dragons.
Garrus/Sotrom – Garrus saw Sotrom from a distance years ago and fell in love/lust. Despite battling her before, it was always from afar so he never knew it was the same person.
Blood Squirrel – Mortos transmogrified into a squirrel so Lupin could coat him with medusa’s blood to save the citizens of Tiny Town in Rock of Ages.
Quintin Quagmire – The head of the Thieves’ Guild, he has been grooming Lupin to take his place. He was last seen in Enemy of My Enemy.
Babs/Vixen – Bartender Babs was first introduced in Scum and Villainy. It was revealed that she was the master thief Vixen in The Long Game.
Cornelius – The brutish boyfriend of Rose and Epiphany’s ex was introduced in Scum and Villainy.
Mind-Flayer – The Heroes (of which Lupin is the remaining member from the start) first encountered Mind-Flayers in The Festival of Life (and Death): Part Deux.
Molotov Cocktails – Lupin purchased the materials and created the Molotov Cocktails in preparation of her trip to Insectavania in Hive Mentality.
Brugor the Dragonborn/Mind-Flayer Paladin – The Heroes met and traveled with Brugor in What Lurks Below?
Ring of Narcolepsy’s Respite – Ffion’s player plays on-line and lives in another time-zone. She usually passes out before the session comes to an end, so the ring was created to give a reason for her abrupt departures. This is the first time it was used.
* Glance at a High Point: Peek at a Peak.
** Remembering the Dead in the AM: Mourning Morning.
*** Sickly Alcoholic Beverage: Ailing Ale.
**** Tired Vegetable: Beat Beet.
***** Penny Odor: Cent Scent.
****** Cold Bean Stew in South America: Chilly Chili in Chile.
******* Squeaky Stream of Water: Creeky Creek.
******** Abandon an After Dinner Treat in a Dry Land: Desert a Dessert in the Desert.
********* Equal Price: Fair Fare.
********** Advancing Book Intro: Forward Forward.
********** Hello from Above: High Hi.
************ Eat More than Seven: Ate Eight.
Next: Chapter 68 - Monster Mash
Previous: Chapter 66 - Vikings and Violence