- Ffion Tanwen,
Female Dragonborn Cleric - Garrus Ironside,
Male Dwarf Cleric - Amidaeus,
Female Elf Vampire - Dimva Murkahm,
Male Dwarf Rogue - Erith Elmaris,
Male Elf Vampire - Mortos,
Male Tiefling Druid - Lupin Damakos,
Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
Walking through the corridors, the Armored Aasimar explains that the United is the military branch of the collective nations joined together against the Crimson Empire (see Prelude to the Crimson Empire). The Human race is by far the largest population in the world, consequently they provide the most troops and funding for the United.
Solomon dismisses Valentine and the door is shut behind her. Lamenting that the war has been going on for too long, the Council reveals that they seek to end it with project Renaissance: The armies of every Race in the United joined in one massive push into the Crimson Empire (see Drunkards & Dragons). Solomon discloses that: “We attempted to bring in General Valentine to lead the attack, but she agrees with General Sterling that the push would be too costly. General Sterling is too popular amongst the troops to replace, but if he were to die, the Human Council could replace him with their own General who is willing to lead the charge.”
Solomon informs Dimva that he has heard of his grievances with the United and they have an offer for him. One Million gp, plus an island dukedom off the coast if he will complete an assignment for them. They want him to kill General Sterling. The Calculating King claims that: “The United would be too suspect if they did it themselves, but the Dwarves and Humans have always been strong allies, so no one would ever suspect a Dwarf.”
There are also contingencies that void the contract, such as the death of Dimva, the Council, or General Sterling before the mission can be completed. Dimva is wary, but the Evil Attorny assures him that he is a Notary Public. The Aggrieved Assassin agrees and places his thumbprint on the parchment next to Solomon’s. With the deal struck, the Deadly Dwarf departs to plan his next move.
Eurig also mentions that their village archives have been raided by the Crimson Empire, led by her former friend Abertha (see Rock of Ages). When Ffion asks what was taken, the Reptile Reverend replies that she only took scrolls relating to the Sword of Bahamut. A confused and astonished Ffion asks why, proclaiming that it is only a legend. Eurig agrees and states that their grandfather used to tell them stories about it when they were youngsters. The Pious Priestess points out that she encountered an obnoxious Dragonborn party who were searching for the sword as well (see Drunkards & Dragons). The stumped Sister Sibling states that it is only a myth. The Reptile Rector reminds her that all myths and legends have some basis in truth. Ffion agrees and then, remembering that Eurig has journeyed far, sees to it that he has a proper meal and puts him to bed as she ponders what to do next.
Stepping out of the shadows, the former Vampire Christopher Frost (see Family Reunion) appears. A peeved Amidaeus asks what he wants. Christopher produces a large key and claims that it is for the local prison. He suggests that they feast on the unredeemable killers locked inside. Erith is impressed that he obtained a key to the prison and enquires if that was what he did when he was a Vampire. Christopher states that he did at first. He then informs them that: “Your extra strength and speed comes from your body burning like a furnace, consuming itself. You need to ingest the blood of sentient creatures in order to keep burning, like a steam engine.” He also warns that they will slowly adopt the DNA of their victims, so it is best not to eat killers all the time. Amidaeus suggest they will find a hospital and drain the blood of the dying. Christopher claims that there will not be enough patients dying for them to survive. A haughty Amidaeus declares that they will find their own food in town. Erith asks if he can have the key, just in case. Christopher gladly hands it over to him.
Revealing that she is a Vampire, Abdul shrieks and begs for his life, claiming he has a wife and child. Calming him down, Amidaeus tells him that she only needs a pint of his blood. In exchange, she will owe him a favor, as long as it is not murder or sending her on a quest. She tells him that she would be willing to beat someone up for him. Calming down, he agrees to the terms and allows her to sate her hunger. Abdul’s blood turns out to be the most amazingly spicy blood she has ever tasted. Amidaeus then tells him that perhaps they can make this a permanent arrangement, to which Abdul surprisingly agrees.
Asking how she arrived in the United Center, Blazes claims that she created a portal from Hell a few miles away. Once through, Damocles met her and snuck her into the United Center. Mortos says that her portal sounds big and scary. She assures him that it is very big and very scary (I think this was some kind of bizarre sexual inuendo gone wrong). The Damsel Demon declairs that she has a proposition for them. She proclaims that many of the denizens of Hell weary of their alliance with the Crimson Empire and seek to withdraw from the war. As Lupin already knows, every 666 years, there is a competition to see who rules Hell (see Hell, in a Handbasket). Though the time has passed, there is still one more Demon Lord who can challenge Éd Versary to rule Hell.
HORRIBLE THANKSGIVING/WINTER/CHRISTMAS PUNS
Thanksgiving Puns
1: Orange Squash 3.14.*
2: Meat Sauce Ships.**
3: Percussionist’s Tools.***
4: What April Showers Bring.****
5: Sugary Tubbers.*****
6: Nutritional Induced Sleep.******
Winter/Christmas Puns
7: Metallic Southern Girls.*******
8: Crabs on a Beach.********
9: More Than Two Smart Guys.*********
10: 12:00 Sermon.**********
11: Rocket Foot Digits.***********
12: Peppermint Walking Sticks.************
13: Icy Orb.*************
14: Between Past and Future.**************
Shoving him forward, Dimva produces his crossbow and fires a bolt into him. Suddenly, another crossbow bolt appears in Sterling chest and then another, causing him to crumble to the floor. Turning, Dimva sees that the door lock has been picked open by his old nemesis. The Human Rogue Scarlet (see Perfidia) throws down her crossbow and runs down the hall screaming that Dimva has killed General Sterling.
Thoughts on this Session: I had planned this session in order to present some potential plot choices and incentives to tie up some loose ends. Little did I know that everyone would clamp on to their respective propositions with such gusto. Exceptional role playing all around! Punctuated by the murder of one of the oldest NPCs in the campaign!!!
Lupin seemed intrigued at the prospect of saving her mother and sister, however less thrilled with the thought of returning to Hell. Though she seemed irked with Mortos’ confidence in controlling Züül, she revealed they shared a common distrust of the United. Obtaining the skull may put her at odds with her old friend Henrick. Garrus was overjoyed to meet one of his legendary Heroes: Thorsen. Finding out more about Father Franklin’s past shed new light on the man he was and the man he is today. He was quite confounded by Lupin and Mortos’ distrust for the United. Amidaeus' reveal of Chronos’ time traveling offer also flustered him; more so because members of the party are keeping important secrets from each other. Dimva went nuclear. Blinded by the prospect of gold and his own Dukedom, he didn’t hesitate to murder the leader of the United. Not expecting to be identified, his exit strategy left something to be desired. With the United in hot pursuit, how will he collect his gold? Erith was amusing with his concerns about Medieval HIV. Seducing Rhonda led to our second fade to black sex scene. His surprise that she was also a Vampire and then hesitancy in sharing in her unexpectedly brutal murder victim’s blood shows that perhaps he is not cut out for this afterlife. Amidaeus seems to be growing into her Vampire role. Her haughty attitude and contempt toward Christopher’s suggestions are putting her into dangerous situations. Trying to be civil with her blood-for-favors scheme could lead to more trouble than she thinks. Revealing Chronos’ time-traveling offer to the rest of The Heroes may have opened a can of worms. Ffion’s joy at reuniting with her brother was somewhat dampened when she heard of her parent’s health and the events back home. Hearing about how many individuals seem to be actively searching for the Sword of Bahamut may have caused her to rethink her opinion on the mythical weapon. Though she had much on her mind, she still took time to see that her brother was rested and well-fed. Mortos seemed to be thrilled with the prospect of ruling Hell. Lupin seemed a little dubious in his confidence to both control Züül and defeat Éd. His meandering conspiracy theories and rambling mistrust of the United were quite amusing. What insanity will he release if he finds the skull of Züül? Bravo to all!!!
“For the dwarf - What do you think of Thorsen the Impervious? He’s a dwarf of legend with feats of supposedly killing an Aboleth single-handedly and taming a red dragon. At least that is what has been told on stories Garrus has overheard. His fame always has a different story or exceptional monster defeat depending on where different dwarves live. Thorsen is a stoic dwarf for hire. Almost like a dwarven Mandalorian.”
* Orange Squash 3.14: Pumpkin Pie.
** Meat Sauce Ships: Gravy Boats.
*** Percussionist’s Tools: Drumsticks.
**** What April Showers Bring: Mayflowers.
***** Sugary Tubbers: Sweet Patatoes.
****** Nutritional Induced Sleep: Food Coma.
******* Metallic Southern Girls: Silver Belles (Bells).
******** Crabs on a Beach: Sandy Claws (Santa Claus).
********* More Than Two Smart Guys: Three Wise Men.
********** 12:00 Sermon: Midnight Mass.
********** Rocket Foot Digits: Missel Toe (Mistletoe).
************ Peppermint Walking Sticks: Candy Canes.
*********** Icy Orb: Snow Ball.
************** Between Pasts and Futures: Presents.
Next: Chapter 60 - Crossroads
Previous: Chapter 58 - War of Words