As stated in last month’s missive, there will be no May session. For your reading pleasure this month, we will expound upon some of the behind the scenes mishaps, in-jokes and who's who that occur behind the scenes of our campaign.
As regular readers’ may know, our dysfunctional Heroes do not play well with either each other, or NPCs. Their shoot first, ask questions later attitude, combined with their misogynistic tendencies, tend to lead to a lack of trust amongst friends and even themselves. Let us examine just a few of the instances where communication is not key.
Trust Building Exercises
The following are written messages given to each Hero at the beginning of Chapter 1. Oddly enough, NONE of The Heroes thought it was prudent to share the information they received with one another.
All the other adventures are greeted by others of their kind. No one approaches you. You feel their fear, hate, and mistrust as they stare at you and whisper behind your back. An Iron gauntlet grabs your shoulder. You face a man in full armor covered with black robes. His face is concealed behind an iron mask. He introduces himself as Brother Blackflint (I told you he was still lurking about.), the High Cleric of the Church of The One. He laughs that it takes an undead to kill an undead, and that you have the potential to be The United’s greatest weapon. You notice his disfigured face behind the iron mask. He gives you a +2 attack against undead sword.
General Sterling takes you aside. He is pleased there are two humans among the ranks. He tells you that he believes that Lord Chronos is bidding his time, waiting for Sterling to get older, as he was the only one to ever defeat him in combat. He asks you to be on the lookout for the legendary Immortality Serum that will return him to his youth. It was in a museum that was looted just before the Crimson Empire conquered the city. It’s location, or even its existence, is in question. He gives Apothocos a medallion that allows you an additional Healing Word Spell (3 times an encounter). He also gives Egnarts a +2 attack collapsible staff.
A strikingly handsome male Tiefling introduces himself as Baron Damocles. He asks your family background. When he finds out you are an Orphan, he warns you that the other members of the United see Tieflings as Demon Spawn and fears that they may turn against them after the war, or perhaps before it. So watch your back. He gives you a black cloak that gives you +2 to your defense (AC).
You are approached by a stunning raven haired beauty wearing a skintight red dress (Soon to be a major NPC). She runs her hand playfully over your crystal skin and asks: “What woman wouldn’t be attracted to a man made of jewels?” “But women like a man with intelligence.” She drapes a +2 intelligence medallion over your shoulders and disappears into the crowd. Try as you might, you cannot get into her mind. In fact, you get a strange buzzing sound.
You are approached by an imposing looking Eladrin. You recognize him as Scrimshaw, an ancient high elf. He is one of the Elven Lords. He warns you that even though many races are joined under the United’s banner, that old prejudices still run deep. He hands you a +2 attack against undead sword.
Trust Building Exercises Part Deux
Speaking of Lupin, does anyone remember when her feline companion, Willow, was incinerated and mysteriously reincarnated between Chapters 8 and 9? Well there was an explanation, but Lupin decided not to share the miraculous event with her compatriots.
Even thought she was accused of witchcraft (by a wizard?!?!?!), Lupin still refused to offer any explanation to her rightfully perplexed compatriots.
Wolves and Water
NPCs Who’s Who
Finally, our cast of reoccurring NPCs. EVERY NPC with a name I introduce has some information/backstory to impart to the Heroes. Unfortunately, our Heroes NEVER ask questions. Indeed, they treat all NPCs (even ones who have proven themselves trustworthy allies) with contempt, or worst, as meat shields. Following are the backstories of a few of the more famous NPCs The Heroes have encountered in chronological order.
So, these are but a few of the shenanigans that have not been mentioned in our monthly missives. I truly wish that the players would contribute more to these recaps. I would love to see their perspective, on both the adventures, and each other’s characters.
Also, to all our faithful followers: please do not hesitate to chime in with your opinions, reactions, and revelations. For a website that does absolutely no advertising, and is not affiliated with any form of social media, we have an exceedingly high number of page views. Please express your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you!
Special double bonus coupon day blather.
For your entertainment, enlightenment, and edification, a quick lesson about the international distress code: Mayday. Mayday, as one word, does not derive from the spring holiday May Day (1st of May). Nor does it originate from the appropriation of either the International Worker’s Day, or even the Communist salute to the proletariat (both celebrated on the 1st of May). Rather it is derived from the French: “venez m’aider”; or simply put: come help/aid me. As the radio replaced the telegraph (radiotelegraph on ships and planes), a need for an international distress code was needed to replace the Morse Code S.O.S. (save our ship). The truncated and slurred “Mayday” was chosen to take its place. If you are truly in distress, it is to be repeated three consecutive times (much like the triple summoning for Beetlejuice, or the quintuple chant for Candyman) to assure that it is a true emergency. Be warned, unwarranted usage can incur hefty fines, and even imprisonment.
Now what the heck did any of the verbiage above have to do with this month’s D&D? Not much. I needed a catchy title for May; when I chose Mayday, my near encyclopedic knowledge of useless facts spewed forth like the contents of a ruminant’s cud. Now that you know, you may bore all your friends and family with this relatively innocuous information!!!