- Torek, Male Dwarf Cleric
- Wizbang, Male Drow Wizard
- Henrick, Male Human Warlock
- Lupin Damakos, Female Tiefling Rogue + Willow, Cat Animal Companion
- Enuffdain, Male Elf Paladin
Éd Versary, the current ruler of the Nine Hells, charges into the arena to battle The Heroes! But then, a true miracle occurs; Enuff races up to battle the ferocious fiend! Inspired by their compatriot, the diminutive Torek races as fast as his stubby appendages can carry him, shouting forth the name of his patronage God: Avandra!!! Lupin strikes with her short bow, and scores a CRITICAL Hit! Wizbang and Henrick cast powerful spells trapping Éd in place, causing him to drop his massive whip. Henrick also manages to stay invisible/cower through most of the battle; as per his usual M.O. Lupin tries to pick up the whip, but ends up standing upon it to prevent its’ recovery, when she realizes it’s as heavy as a fallen tree.
Despite using their most powerful Daily spells and abilities, The Heroes are unable to inflict much damage on the Daunting Demon. Indeed, most of the damage they inflict comes from the ancillary effects of their spells and powers. The Heroes, on the other hand, are taking a terrible beating from the Demonic Despot. Torek, inappropriately, Lays on Hands to make sure Enuf has multiple happy endings. He also cast many group healing prayers, as The Heroes’ collective health begins to erode.
Seeing that, short of a critical hit, she has little chance of harming the Horned Horror, Lupin uses her skills to pick the lock on the gate to the arena. Using all her stealth, she slips past the cheering demons, and searches for a way to turn off the force field surrounding the arena.
In a stroke of genius/desperation, Wizbang conjures up an illusion of the disposed former ruler of the Nine Hells: Asmodeus. Éd rushes to battle the former ruler, vowing that he defeated him before, and that he can do it again.
Wizbang/Asmodeus incites the demonic spectators that this is their chance to overthrow Éd. The treacherous ensemble attack their ruler, as The Heroes escape with Felicia. Closing the gate, Lupin reactivates the force field, trapping the demonic hoard inside.
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 1: Sexy Cocoa.*
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 2: Robert’s Toboggan.**
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 3: Crabs on a Beach.***
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 4: Frosty Triangles.****
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 5: Rockets on the Front of Your Foot.*****
The last five are Christmas Carols.
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 6: More Than Two Tiny Monarchs.******
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 7: Small, Young, Male Percussionist. *******
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 8: Armored Warrior with Laryngitis.**********
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 10: Metallic Southern Girls.**********
HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS/WINTER PUN NUMBER 11: Green Leafy Vegetable Flakes X 3.***********
Facing the exit out, The Heroes are stymied by a puzzle that seals the door. It contains the verses to a familiar song, that must be put in its proper order to gain egress through the portal.
Calling Birds
Drummers Drumming
French Hens
Geese a Laying
Golden Rings
Ladies Dancing
Lords a Leaping
Maids a Milking
Partridge in a Pear Tree
Pipers Piping
Swans a Swimming
Turtle Doves
(Side Note: Now this was an interesting challenge in that, it is a song that almost everyone knows, yet few know all the lyrics; despite its’ simplistic and Pavlovian, repetitive nature. If you don’t have trouble past the 8th chorus, my hat is sincerely off to you. It also led to an astonishing amount of overthinking on the real-life players’ part. Some surmised that the Lords must be above the Ladies. Some argued that the musicians have to be playing before the dancers. Others argued that the song is actually in reverse order. A great debate, whose order was finally arrived at, after three tries.)
Paralyzed from the sonic scream, The Heroes helplessly hurdle headfirst toward their doom. However, Henrick’s Handy Haversack happens to slip open, a small boat emerges and lands with a splash, just as The Heroes, unceremoniously, crash into the vessel. (Side Note: Serendipity is amazing. Torek had just turned the inferno below into water. And Henrick, many moons ago, chose a boat as one of his rewards. We all laughed, as it seemed like the worst waste of possible rewards to EVER chose. That whimsical choice proved to be a lifesaver. It goes to show: you just never know what will come in handy. [Side, Side Note: I realize that the combined weight and velocity from the fall would have splattered The Heroes on impact and rendered the boat to shreds; but if you believe in wizards and dragons, I’d say actual physics can take a back seat once in a while.])
To be continued? ? ?
Thoughts on this session. I was somewhat disappointed (although I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by now) at the lack of roll playing. Torek was in excellent character, pitting his faith in Avandra against the forces of Hell. Lupin used her stealth and lock picking abilities to good use. But the rest continued their fist first diplomacy. When they realized it was almost impossible to penetrate Éd’s HP, they didn’t try ANY negotiations? The Devil always makes deals. The Cambion helped them to escape, and The Heroes immediately tried to kill him?!?!?! No one wondered why he helped them? No one wondered why he was intrigued by Lupin’s heritage? No one wondered about Lupin’s TWIN??? Perhaps one day, everyone will realize that there is so much more to D&D than fighting.
* Sexy Cocoa: Sexy = hot; cocoa = chocolate – Hot Chocolate.
** Robert’s Toboggan: Robert = Bob; toboggan = sled – Bobsled.
*** Crabs on a Beach: Crabs = claws; beach = sandy – Sandy Claws (Santa Claus).
**** Frosty Triangles: Frosty = snow; triangles = cones – Snow Cones.
***** Rockets on the Front of Your Foot: Rocket = missile; front of foot = toes – Missile Toe (Mistletoe).
****** More Than Two Tiny Monarchs: More than two = three; tiny = wee; monarchs = kings – Wee (We) Three Kings.
******* Small, Young, Male Percussionist: Small = little; young male = boy; percussionist = drummer – Little Drummer Boy.
******** Armored Warrior with Laryngitis: Armored warrior = knight; laryngitis = silent – Silent Knight.
********* Metallic Southern Girls: Metallic = silver; southern girls = belles – Silver Bells.
********** Green Leafy Vegetable Flakes X 3: Green leafy vegetable = lettice; flakes = snow; X 3 = three times – Lettice (Let It) Snow, Lettice (Let It) Snow, Lettice (Let It) Snow.
Each Player received a random Drama Card for solving a pun.
° These events were inspired by Drama cards. I am so glad players are, finally, actively using them. They get at least one per pun, usually two a session, so they each have quite a few.
Next: Chapter 25 - Beauty and the Beholder
Previous: Chapter 23 - Hell in a Handbasket (Hellish Rumble)